Anyone else wonder what if they were born the opposite gender? Would we have lived differently or done different things or would some things remain the same? This is hypothetical and about alternate realities.
Anyone else wonder what if they were born the opposite gender? Would we have lived differently or done different things or would some things remain the same? This is hypothetical and about alternate realities.
Apart from a period wishing I was a boy when growing up (I was a tomboy), I haven’t thought about it.
To me, it would be like asking “how long is a piece of string?”.
The opposite gender, with all the permutations and attributes that come from being created in a vast world, from a sperm and an egg, has infinite possibilities, so I am unable to imagine something that can come close to making a satisfying hypothesis.
Now if I were to imagine for instance being John, a male office worker, Peter, a male asylum seeker or Patrick, an actor, I could wonder how that might be and could try to imagine being in their shoes.
In the meantime, I am content being a woman, being me.
It’s not easy to put ourselves in another’s shoes we can only try and imagine.
We don't have to imagine, we can listen. Other people's voices are very accessible to us these days: podcasts, blogs, books, videos, etc. I think it's important to ensure that we listen to a diversity of voices. There are a lot more kinds of diversity than just neurodiversity. If we want others to listen to us, we should listen to them, too. That's only fair.
Testosterone changes the brain wiring, so it is unlikely I would feel or think quiet and same.
Even if I did think the same I would not be very feminine, and I'd have gone to a different school, played different sports, probably done a different mix of subjects, not broken my nose, not torn some muscles, almost certainly done different jobs and had a different career.
Pretty much everything would be different. I can't say if it would be better or worse, I suspect I might have been even less outgoing as going out alone as a woman is more tricky.
Although since men approach women and not vice versa, perhaps there may have been more romantic encounters. Although maybe not successful ones.
In terms of emotions I'd have had the monthly ups and downs but would still have been struggling, not due to autism but my upbringing.
I think there are too many unknowns. I can't really imagine it.
I like this perspective to consider different perspectives like holding a Rubik Cube and turning it round. It’s not easy to put ourselves in another’s shoes we can only try and imagine. I think sometimes we are part of a universal consciousness all aware of just a little trying to connect to others but not always able. Maybe the act of trying being genuine is enough?
I know that neurodiversity and genderdiversity are strongly correlated. However, no, I've never much wondered about my gender or sexuality. I am comfortable with the gender I was assigned at birth and a sexuality that conforms to the majority's expectations. I haven't really felt any need to wonder, personally, what it would be like to be anything other than what I feel I am. I suppose I'm on the inside looking out, given my straight cis male privilege. I am aware of that privilege, though. I don't deny I have it. I know I'm not entitled to it.
My neurotype has taught me what it is like to be on the outside looking in—to not have a certain other kind of privilege. However, if I keep my mouth shut and keep myself to myself as I walk down the street, nobody takes any notice. That AuDHD is a hidden disability is, at times, also a privilege—at other times, not, of course. As I cannot experience what it is like not to have the privileges that I, by chance, have, I've been trying to learn what it is like for those who do not have them by listening to their voices. What other people experience as their daily realities seem like dystopian "alternate realities" to me. That has been an eye-opening experience.
Listen more to people who are not like you.
All the time it’s such an intriguing thought experiment. I think about how much of who I am is shaped by the expectations, experiences, and social messages tied to the gender I was assigned. If I were born the opposite gender, would I have been encouraged differently? Punished differently? Would I have developed different interests, or reacted differently to the world, or would my core self still be recognisably me?
Some things might remain the same (like certain personality traits or values) but the way those traits were responded to might’ve completely reshaped how they evolved. Maybe I would have felt more or less pressure to hide parts of myself. Maybe I would have taken more risks, or fewer. It’s not just about biology, it’s the whole societal script that comes with it.
And then there’s the really sci-fi angle. The multiverse version of us living out that other reality. It’s kind of comforting and unsettling at the same time to imagine those other versions existing somewhere, making different choices based on different starts.
It’s a great question. Feels like one of those thoughts that’s simple on the surface but opens up into something huge the more you sit with it.
I can't imagine being anything but female, I've tried to imagine being male and apart from the usual questions about what does it feel like to pee standing up, I just can't.
