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De-escalation of situations

DBCD

Hi

I am trying to figure out how to de-escalate situations I've created when I cannot understand how the people are feeling.  

I've caused these situations either by lying or by ignoring how other people are feeling, or both.. The situation then escalates because I say nothing which makes it even worse because it seems like I just don't care.  My family all feel very hurt by all this.

I want to be able to resolve these situations and unlock things long before the situation is unbearable for everyone.

I'd appreciate people's thoughts on this.  

DBCD

Parents

  • You can only fix something you recognise.

    I have sometimes appeared to ignore things but it was because it just did not occur to me, or I only realised later what was meant. In this case all you can do is say something when you realise. Just a short text message is better than nothing. Don't think it gets easier if you leave it, or it will go away, it gets worse and harder if you leave it.

    If you've lied intentionally then you need to look at why. Lying is almost always awkward as it prevents trust. If you made an honest mistake then it is best to correct it. Although people worry about losing face and looking weak or foolish, admitting mistakes is a sign of strength and confidence and is normally looked on favourably.

    If you can recognise these things at the time, then it is best to resolve them at the time, or the next day when people have cooled down.

    Honest communication is the only solution. But it does take both sides to do this.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Hi, All

    Many kind thanks for your responses.  It's hard to explain what;s happened but the error is on my part.  I will write more later but just wanted to acknowledge your kind and helpful replies.

    Kind regards,

    DBCD

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