Not diagnosed with autism

I am very glad that I was assessed and diagnosed by a psychiatrist, rather than a clinical psychologist, as the psychiatric approach leans more towards a person's history and self-described traits, rather than mere observation. I do not think that observation, obviously of vital importance for the diagnosis of small children, should play any great role in diagnosing autistic adults. I make apparently 'normal' eye contact, but I do it consciously, I time it. I told my assessor that I do this to disarm the 'no eye contact fallacy'. Also I am a professional scientist (now retired), so I can obviously communicate well generally, However, I told my assessor that I have great problems in conversation if there is background noise, I have difficulties in timing my interjections in conversations involving more than one person and my facial expression and tone of voice mean that my intentions are sometimes misinterpreted. The only observation referred to in my diagnosis report was that I have 'a rather flat affect'.

I studied the diagnostic ICD criteria for autism beforehand and ensured that I covered all bases in my preliminary questionnaire. I was not leaving things to chance. I have experience in teaching medics and do not trust them to divine things or necessarily ask the right questions.

Martin said:

I make apparently 'normal' eye contact, but I do it consciously

Snap! I do lots of things like eye contact and body language very consciously, too.

The other person is talking and I'm trying to listen to their voice and parse their words and ALSO listen to my own voice in my head telling me to "look interested" and "keep looking at their eyes, keep looking at their eyes" and "cross your arms, too" and "wait a second, is that arm-crossing mirroring or will it look defensive" and "their lawn looks greener than mine" and "why have they got so much random stuff in the boot of their car" and "EYE CONTACT, come on!" .... Is it any wonder we find social interactions very tiring and stressful. In a one-on-one like this, though, to the other person I might be coming across as reasonably "normal", but I'm having to work very hard at it.

If I meet a person I know who is walking their dog, I fall to pieces. I don't know where to look and start babbling to the dog, then the person, or making eye contact with the dog while talking to the person, or vice versa, then I just start wishing Scotty would beam me up—like NOW, Scotty!

Martin said:

I make apparently 'normal' eye contact, but I do it consciously

Snap! I do lots of things like eye contact and body language very consciously, too.

The other person is talking and I'm trying to listen to their voice and parse their words and ALSO listen to my own voice in my head telling me to "look interested" and "keep looking at their eyes, keep looking at their eyes" and "cross your arms, too" and "wait a second, is that arm-crossing mirroring or will it look defensive" and "their lawn looks greener than mine" and "why have they got so much random stuff in the boot of their car" and "EYE CONTACT, come on!" .... Is it any wonder we find social interactions very tiring and stressful. In a one-on-one like this, though, to the other person I might be coming across as reasonably "normal", but I'm having to work very hard at it.

If I meet a person I know who is walking their dog, I fall to pieces. I don't know where to look and start babbling to the dog, then the person, or making eye contact with the dog while talking to the person, or vice versa, then I just start wishing Scotty would beam me up—like NOW, Scotty!