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Experiences of people diagnosed with ASD as Adults

JB89

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for advice and insights from people who have gone through the adult diagnosis process for Autism Spectrum Disorder. I'm in my mid-30s and have struggled with my mental health and feeling constantly overwhelmed for most of my life.

Several years ago, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), but I’ve never fully related to the diagnostic criteria, and I’ve always had a sense that it didn’t quite fit. Over the past couple of years, I started working in child development and, through learning more about autism, I began to recognize a lot of traits in myself. This led me to research further — particularly about how many girls mask effectively in childhood and are often missed in the diagnostic process. I also came across information about the high rate of BPD misdiagnosis in women due to overlapping signs like emotional dysregulation.

Now, I’m considering challenging my current diagnosis and asking to be assessed for ASD through my local mental health team. However, I do have a few concerns. Living with a BPD diagnosis has been difficult — it’s a heavily stigmatized condition, and I’ve personally experienced that stigma. For example, I wasn’t taken seriously during a serious health issue in pregnancy, and I’ve also found that NHS support for BPD is limited and difficult to access.

What I’m really hoping to understand is:

-If you were diagnosed with ASD as an adult, have you experienced stigma since your diagnosis?

-Has the diagnosis been helpful or meaningful for you? In what ways has it improved your life, if at all?

-Are there any NHS treatments or supports available to autistic adults, such as occupational therapy or mental health services tailored to neurodivergent people?

I’ve masked for many years and have just about managed to get by, but I’m exhausted. I don’t want a diagnosis for the label — only if it could genuinely help improve my quality of life. I know that’s a deeply personal experience and different for everyone, but I’d really appreciate hearing from others who’ve been through this journey.

Thank you for reading. 

Parents
  • JB89 said:

    -If you were diagnosed with ASD as an adult, have you experienced stigma since your diagnosis?

    -Has the diagnosis been helpful or meaningful for you? In what ways has it improved your life, if at all?

    Stigma? No, but only because I haven't told anyone except my wife. I am treated differently because people perceive me as an NT who is "doing it wrong", though. I still mask heavily and avoid situations where I'll struggle to keep up. It's a work in progress.

    Helpful or meaningful? Yes, very much so. It was life-changing. It gave me a completely different perspective on my past, present and future. I'm much kinder to myself now and I no longer feel like I don't deserve that kindness. I'm not a bad or broken person, I'm just a bit different and need a bit of support or accommodation with a few things.

    If you haven't read it yet, try "Girl Unmasked" by Emily Katy. She was misdiagnosed with BPD (I think) before being diagnosed as autistic. The difference saved her life, she claims. You might find her book very relatable, though it's a bit grim at times.

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  • JB89 said:

    -If you were diagnosed with ASD as an adult, have you experienced stigma since your diagnosis?

    -Has the diagnosis been helpful or meaningful for you? In what ways has it improved your life, if at all?

    Stigma? No, but only because I haven't told anyone except my wife. I am treated differently because people perceive me as an NT who is "doing it wrong", though. I still mask heavily and avoid situations where I'll struggle to keep up. It's a work in progress.

    Helpful or meaningful? Yes, very much so. It was life-changing. It gave me a completely different perspective on my past, present and future. I'm much kinder to myself now and I no longer feel like I don't deserve that kindness. I'm not a bad or broken person, I'm just a bit different and need a bit of support or accommodation with a few things.

    If you haven't read it yet, try "Girl Unmasked" by Emily Katy. She was misdiagnosed with BPD (I think) before being diagnosed as autistic. The difference saved her life, she claims. You might find her book very relatable, though it's a bit grim at times.

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