Autism and old people

Saying goodbye with some anguish and melancholy.

I launched in my micro possibilities a campaign on various sites in favor of some form of assistance for old age aspies .      Many of them have never been diagnosed, many of them don’t even know of the origins of their suffering. If they are so called high functioning, they may have thought, before the revelation, that they were “normal” people even as they had to go through an enormous amount of effort, and a constant feeling that there was something wrong, some sort of self deception and falsity in what they did, in their job and family life, if they had one, which rarely happens. They are normally single and loners. Fatigue was not a help in their  perception of their efforts. In a sense old aspies are left to manage their own winter by themselves. Wisdom is nowadays not commodity requested by society.

 Dependence is an act of begging, which not many can rely on for their insularity. At a certain age they normally have no more families or relatives. “Friends”, or, better, acquaintances disappear. An old aspie cannot protect anybody, and cannot receive protection. Are severe autistics in better condition? Donna Williams maintains that they are less desperate. I don’t know.

A blind, a deaf mute, a limp receive some assistance, if anything by the social services. Aspies are invisible.

 

Parents
  • If I cannot decipher the Other’s intentions, I cannot have friends. If I cannot “read” Other, how can I know what Other means when talking to me? Words, sentences, judgments expressed to me are acts, have a pragmatic value, are charged, possess intentionality. “Good evening” does not mean that Other augurs you to spend merrily my time for the rest of the day. This should be obvious. If Other wanted me to end up in hospital for a fall (this may well be sometimes), he wouldn’t tell me that straight away. The real meaning of “good evening” may be that,for now, he/she considers me an acceptable member of the humanity known to him/her. To really know something more relevant I should analyze the tone he uses, his body language, smile, kind of smile (is it a sincere smile or just cold conventional?). Most people don’t need to do these analysis for two reasons 1) they have an instinctive capability to read the other speech-acts. 2) they don’t have the need (that I have) to be assured of Other’s sympathy. So life is an ordeal for me and many others  like me. In the elevator I meet sometime  a lady who, if I greet her, doesn't return my greeting. So I stopped greeting her, but generally I avoid the elevator when I see her. If I don't succeed in this the 45 seconds of an hostile look at me is a horrible experience.

    15 August. Horrible days, Kind of Summer yuletide. Not even shopkeepers, some of them nice people, are around. Well, one of these three days is over.  

Reply
  • If I cannot decipher the Other’s intentions, I cannot have friends. If I cannot “read” Other, how can I know what Other means when talking to me? Words, sentences, judgments expressed to me are acts, have a pragmatic value, are charged, possess intentionality. “Good evening” does not mean that Other augurs you to spend merrily my time for the rest of the day. This should be obvious. If Other wanted me to end up in hospital for a fall (this may well be sometimes), he wouldn’t tell me that straight away. The real meaning of “good evening” may be that,for now, he/she considers me an acceptable member of the humanity known to him/her. To really know something more relevant I should analyze the tone he uses, his body language, smile, kind of smile (is it a sincere smile or just cold conventional?). Most people don’t need to do these analysis for two reasons 1) they have an instinctive capability to read the other speech-acts. 2) they don’t have the need (that I have) to be assured of Other’s sympathy. So life is an ordeal for me and many others  like me. In the elevator I meet sometime  a lady who, if I greet her, doesn't return my greeting. So I stopped greeting her, but generally I avoid the elevator when I see her. If I don't succeed in this the 45 seconds of an hostile look at me is a horrible experience.

    15 August. Horrible days, Kind of Summer yuletide. Not even shopkeepers, some of them nice people, are around. Well, one of these three days is over.  

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