Social cues

Stuart333 said:

It is how you tell if someone is pleased to see you, bored, lying, interested, had enough, happy, uncomfortable, fancies you,  etc. without them just saying it.

The most effective way to do this is to read up on how it works and try to make it a temporary area of hyperfocus for you so you get to really dig into the details and apply it to watching videos in order to confirm your understanding.

Then you are able to go out "into the wild" and try it on real people.

I think where most autists fall down on this approach is they unwillingness to make eye contact and general lack of interest in it (we can be quite selfish in not paying attention to others and expect them to adapt to us).

It becomes a tremendously useful tool once you master it as it applies everywhere you interact with people, from meetings at work, people trying to sell you something or any interaction with tradespeople / officials etc in everyday life.

Being able to spot a liar becomes much easier which allows us to be able to avoid many occasions where we would otherwise be taken advantage of.

Knowing when NOT to call someone a liar is a more difficult skill to master though - it got me in trouble with my boss a few times until I learned to internalise that part more.

You can just ask, are you happy/sad/tired to calibrate.

Some like, are you bored, are harder.

The problem is people may be polite and lie. After you've monologue'd at them for 10 mins and you ask if they're bored or if you've said too much, they'll say no and you will find it hard to tell.

It is probably easier to say less and ask if they'd like to know more.

You may be blunt or be unsympathetic, you'll have to tell by their reaction. It is harder to tell.

Of course if people walk off you have missed something.

Hmm sounds like I may have to consciously try this out sometime….to see if I understand what’s what on some level. How do I know if they mean what they are expressing though like if it’s someone I do not know well? I am naturally very suspicious over people and their intentions. 

It is how you tell if someone is pleased to see you, bored, lying, interested, had enough, happy, uncomfortable, fancies you,  etc. without them just saying it.

“Social cues are verbal or non-verbal signals expressed through the face, body, voice, motion (and more) and guide conversations as well as other social interactions by influencing our impressions of and responses to others. These percepts are important communicative tools as they convey important social and contextual information and therefore facilitate social understanding.

A few examples of social cues include:

• eye gaze
• facial expression
• vocal tone
• body language”

Wikipedia - Social cues

Autistic difficulties with communication, including non-verbal signals, are explained here:

NAS - Autism and communication