Ive always struggled with finding somebody to have a deep connection with and/or getting to know someone on that level. its caused me to have horrible depression and im scared i will hurt myself more by continuing to attempt to find someone. I say scared because I am so lonely and want companionship so bad and wasnt getting that emotional satisfaction that its made me consider suicide. I need to live for me too surely! not just for others. rejection sucks, being alone sucks. seeing other people with good looking partners and happy when im just on the side sucks. ive just turned 25 and im in the middle of a mental health crisis. I just dont get life. people have what i want and even though in the past (Before i was depressed) I would try to improve my looks and what id say, still nothing. Now I dont even try to think about it or girls and focus on making music, but id be lying if i said it doenst bother me. it still does very much so 
