Therapy - a positive

I've posted a few times about therapy on here which have been quite negative so I wanted to share a positive moment.

Those that read those posts will know I was struggling with therapy and didn't feel like it met my autism needs and was finding it hard to gel with the therapist.

I feel like we finally had a breakthrough in a recent session where I wanted to share something that I felt needed talking about but I hadn't and still didn't feel comfortable talking about. She asked if she could try and guess if I didn't want to talk which I was initially dubious about but agreed. It took a while but we got there. Through this I became totally nonverbal and was just communicating through nodding and shaking my head which she completed accepted and didn't push me to talk. As we were nearing the end of the session she wanted to bring me out of this and end on a positive note and so started talking about my special interest which succeeded and brought me out of the non verbal, emotional state. This just seems like a big step forward on both sides and was the first session that actually felt productive despite me hardly saying a single word.

I am now a little concerned however that as it is through the NHS and has a limited number of sessions and has taken so long to get going that we will run out of time before we've really dealt with the things I need to deal with. It seems such a backwards system. I know they need some kind of limit as there are so many people to fit through. But if they let people have the number of sessions they actually need there would be far less people being referred back into the system. It would seem completely pointless for me to be referred back if it doesn't work this time. I would then have a long wait and then have to start again with a different person which would come with the same issues all over again. The therapist said she can ask to extend by a few sessions but then that's the limit. You'd think the therapists could be trusted to decide how many sessions a person needs and surely it should be recognised that a neurodivergent person may need more sessions in order to build the relationship and navigate the therapy system.

I appear to have negatived up my positive post - my bad. I am trying to focus on the positive and will end with emphasising it - that I was able to share my feelings in a way that worked for me and that the therapist recognised the importance of my special interest in supporting me.

Parents
  • I feel like we finally had a breakthrough in a recent session

    This is great - finding a tool to open that access for you is something you can use for the rest of your life now. If you can focus on this as a win then it was a great breakthrough.

    Therapy is often a journey that takes a few sessions to build trust, understand your issues and find what approaches work for you to talk about the things that are important to you. If this is as far as the NHS sessions can go then it is still a win - and if you can keep the contact then as and when finances allow you can always go back privately to take one more step on the road to covering all your issues.

    I found it took about 4 sessions to uncover the facts / issues etc, about 10 more to "unpack the trauma" to work out what childhood issues were still influencing my reactions 40+ years later and to work on healthier responses and self improvement on a range of fronts.

    Thereafter I only check in a few times a year with my therapist but that has become largely social and a "checkup" which I don't really need but like to have.

    My therapist said everyone has different time needs and you often don't know what these will be until you have opened the vairious locked doors in their minds during the unpacking phase, and even then not everyone can progress at the same speed as they are of varying capabilites and often suffer setbacks.

    At £50 a pop the sessions aren't cheap but they may be worth considering on a slower, pay when possible approach. Just a thought.

    Anyway, congrats on the progress.

  • Last time I had therapy continuing with the same person privately wasn't an option, she wasn't allowed to as an NHS therapist. I don't know whether it'll be different this time as they have outsourced to a private company. I'm not sure how many sessions I've had but it's been more than 4. It feels as though they have been somewhat wasted but I just wasn't ready to share with her, I didn't feel comfortable enough.

  • It feels as though they have been somewhat wasted but I just wasn't ready to share with her, I didn't feel comfortable enough.

    With therapy you do need to take the time to build the trust so you can be open otherwise you are not telling the therapist the full story which means they can only do a partial job. You can't force the pace of these things unfortunately.

    It is good you know what works though so you can take this away as a win along with any other progress you can make in future sessions. Don't worry about there not being enough time (there never is in life I find) but keep the focus on the moment and what progress you can make here and now.

    Ask in the next session if there is an option to go privately just in case - then you will know for sure and if it isn't an option then you can ask for recommendations of therapists they know with experience in treating autists.

  • I think I know this really but it just feels frustrating as it feels like another circumstance where neurodivergent people are disadvantaged as our needs can make these processes take longer.

    I will try to discuss that with her once I know how many sessions we're having.

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