I just felt I needed a out let

As I sit in my over heated flat with my baby asleep crying I really do feel alone. When the father says your not alone you've got the baby.... I can't have a adult conversation with him I can't just leave and go off. I have to stay put while he leaves as we don't live together to go home where he lives with his mother. 

I don't feel the same I feel funny about everything every thing makes me cry I am still suffering trauma from hospital from the staff not the birth 1 member staff then I spiraled I was under simulated and high on codeine general anesthetic morphine and didn't follow my autism plan or trauma plan. The mental health don't want to seem to address nor address the Postal depression. All I get is forget about it and don't have to deal with them. Or I look well so nothing is wrong.

It's not his fault the baby. I having finding hard to feel something for him. So I try say things I like about him his feet, his soft hair sensory to run on chin and he was a nice nose and hes a escape artist because his arms always out his sleep suit.