Recently diagnosed at 43, my head is allover the place

I know exactly how you feel because I was recently diagnosed with autism at 42

I posted something similar recently, as I've been on an emotional rollercoaster since my recent diagnosis (age 55).  I don't have any answers for you right now, but know that you are not alone in feeling that way

Thank you for taking time to reply 

Thank you for taking time to reply

Duplicate post.

It is normal to feel disorientated. Don't worry. You have aways been in there. It will come.

Stop worrrying about what other people think all the time and people pleasing. Learn to say no to some things.

Give yourself some space. Look at some of the accomodations information to free up mental capacity.

Try to reduce stress. Notice what bothers you and get in touch your feelings.

Cut down on caffeine and alcohol if appropriate.

Try to get some sleep and make sure you are hydrated.

This will now put you in the right frame of mind to see what you really think and like. But it will take time, as in months or even years.

There are some videos on unmasking on YouTube. Type "autistic unmasking" in the search box. Mom on the spectrum, Auticate with Chis and Debby, Autism from the inside, Orion Kelly, I'm autistic now what, are all channels with info. There are more.

Watch a few and see if anything sounds good to you.

Good luck.

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community.

Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about now having an explanation for our past difficulties, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion, uncertainty, and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my ASD-related difficulties.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Dsar43 said:

How can I help myself to understand myself more?

In respect of getting help to understand yourself better, therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

This book enabled me to make some immediate, helpful changes:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!