What are people's experiences of anxiety?

Hello,

I will pre-face this by saying I am a late diagnosed high masking woman, I was diagnosed two months ago and I'm in my thirties. 

I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember, I feel as though I came out of the womb anxious. When I first diagnosed with anxiety it presented as panic attacks when I started university at 18 but I think over the course of various stints in therapy and 10+ years on different anti-depressants it has morphed into more of a generalized anxiety where I feel one edge and worried a lot of the time. 

Work has always been a huge drain on my mental health, regardless of the job, the environment, the shifts, the workloads, all of my jobs have wound up with me feeling fragile and burnt out. I have had attendance issues in every job I've had. 

What I'm trying to understand now is what it anxiety and what is autistic overwhelm. I will feel overwhelmed if I have multiple things to do, even on days off from work. I'm trying to pin it down and really try to understand what are these feelings and where to they come from.

For example, I'm going to a comic con with my friend at the weekend, I've been planning and looking forward to it for ages but now it's close I'm feeling dread, I suppose because it will be busy and hot, there will be a lot of people I don't know and I won't be able to retreat somewhere safe...is this anxiety or autism? 

I do definitely think I have some alexithymia as I struggle tor recognize my emotions and will often just default to anxiety.  

I would love to hear your experiences.

Parents
  • Hi there. I got diagnosed with autism last year when I was 24 but since I was about 2 I apparently showed some, though not as many, autistic traits. I got diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I was 16 and I was put on setraline which didn’t bode well. 50mg to 150mg in three weeks and then I was told to just go cold turkey at 150mg so that didn’t help my anxiety at all. Also the “psychiatrist” was not very friendly with me and made me feel like an idiot. I have always been shy since I was in nursery due to bullying which became more severe as I got older and I always hated putting my hand up to answer a question in case I got it wrong. Basically my anxiety has got worse as I’ve gotten older and I get more anxious because no one is willing to help me. The gps are the most unsympathetic people going in my opinion. I’m 25 now and despite numerous types of therapies and meds, I’m just not able to get better and recover so I don’t know if that’s the autism in me. Since my bullying at a charity shop (when I was already at rock bottom with mental health) I just feel I can’t look out the window or in the mirror or even see a reflection of myself as I get anxious about my current life when other people have more and better lives and they have to rub it in. Half the time I think what’s the point anymore. Sorry if this isn’t really related, I’m still new here and I do have a tendency to misunderstand things, again that’s one of my autistic traits

Reply
  • Hi there. I got diagnosed with autism last year when I was 24 but since I was about 2 I apparently showed some, though not as many, autistic traits. I got diagnosed with general anxiety disorder when I was 16 and I was put on setraline which didn’t bode well. 50mg to 150mg in three weeks and then I was told to just go cold turkey at 150mg so that didn’t help my anxiety at all. Also the “psychiatrist” was not very friendly with me and made me feel like an idiot. I have always been shy since I was in nursery due to bullying which became more severe as I got older and I always hated putting my hand up to answer a question in case I got it wrong. Basically my anxiety has got worse as I’ve gotten older and I get more anxious because no one is willing to help me. The gps are the most unsympathetic people going in my opinion. I’m 25 now and despite numerous types of therapies and meds, I’m just not able to get better and recover so I don’t know if that’s the autism in me. Since my bullying at a charity shop (when I was already at rock bottom with mental health) I just feel I can’t look out the window or in the mirror or even see a reflection of myself as I get anxious about my current life when other people have more and better lives and they have to rub it in. Half the time I think what’s the point anymore. Sorry if this isn’t really related, I’m still new here and I do have a tendency to misunderstand things, again that’s one of my autistic traits

Children
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