I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago — when my GP first suggested it, I thought, “Nonsense.” I didn’t actually know what ADHD was, other than assuming it meant other people’s hyperactive kids. But after Googling “adult ADHD”, it didn’t take long before I was wondering how this could be a thing that described my entire life… and yet nobody had bothered to tell me.
I went back to my GP and said I thought he was onto something. He called me in for a long chat. Good news: there’s a pill that works really well. Bad news: to get it, you need a formal diagnosis — and the NHS waiting list is about three years long. “I don’t suppose you can afford to go private?”
As it happened, unknown to him, the Right to Choose scheme was in its early days, and I ended up being seen in a matter of weeks — paid for by the NHS, and without having to remortgage my house.
The ADHD diagnosis made a huge difference. The medication (Concerta) worked well,until it became unobtanium, and I was switched to Elvanse. It was during a routine medication review with a psychiatrist at PUK (who was overseeing the switch) that autism was first suggested. She picked up on some signs, and wrote to my GP recommending an assessment. I went through Right to Choose again.
That assessment was last week — and I now have a formal diagnosis of autism. So I'm running both ADHD and autism, or AuDHD, which isn’t an official term, but widely used these days to describe having both.
It wasn’t obvious I had autism. I never really considered it before the PUK psychiatrist brought it up — she seemed slightly surprised when I said I’d only ever been diagnosed with ADHD. She told me they often coexist, and recommended getting properly assessed. Again, I didn’t think it was likely, but once I read more about AuDHD, it became clear she was probably right.
The ADHD masked a lot of the autistic traits, and I’d developed enough coping mechanisms over the years to pass for functional. I also had that outdated idea that autistic people were all ultra-organised and rigid, which didn’t sound like me… until I realised that, in some ways, it kind of did.
Having both, and not knowing, is like running two operating systems that keep launching conflicting updates; it’s certainly not ideal. One wants to do everything at once, the other refuses to start the other refuses to start unless it’s on the to-do list, mentally rehearsed forty-two times, and prepared with military precision.
It’s a constant tug of war, but I can see if you are aware you have both conditions, it’s not so bad. My initial “Oh no, not another one” reaction has mellowed. I’m can see how the autism can rein in some of the more chaotic ADHD tendencies, and how the ADHD keeps some of the autistic rigidity from taking over.
It’s all very new to me, and I’m curious to hear from others with either diagnosis or both. I’m pretty confident that, finally, we are getting to the bottom of things, and there should be no new surprises. I will be able to harness the creativity and out-of-the-box thinking that comes with these conditions, while better navigating some of the chaos.
