Hi all
I've thought about joining this forum for a while. I've now decided to create an account. I'm a 31 year old male and for the last couple of years I've recognised I have many autistic traits and the more research I've done the more convinced I've become I'm on the spectrum.
I'm just looking for some advice / help if possible.
Basically I've been invited to a school freind's wedding. We have stayed in touch and I think he considers me to be a close freind. He told he me he had got engaged to his girlfriend about two years ago and immediately informed me I would be invited to his wedding.
Being asked on the spot I told him I would attend but then later dreaded the thought of it. I don't do well in social settings (I never have done) for years I thought it was just social anxiety / shyness and something I would grow out of with more life experiences and maybe some counselling. However, group and one on one sessions never worked and I always felt as though I couldn't participate in any of the group workshops.
Out of all the guests I literally only know him. I do know his brother and parent's but not that well. The thought of attending the reception and then the evening party makes me feel ill. I really struggle with small talk and things to talk about. Often when people talk about themselves / lives I feel like I can't relate to any of it. There is a big part of me that wants to avoid his wedding completely and the thought of doing this eases the physical symptoms of my anxiety immediately. However, I also realise that it's my freind and I should be in attendance for him. Attending weddings is part of life and something other non autistic people seem to do without any difficulty. Not going to the wedding is like letting my anxiety win.
One of the times we met up he asked me to be an Usher. He asked me on the spot. This is something I definitely don't want to do as it involves greeting guests etc. none of them I've said I really know. When he asked me I sort of just went along with it and said I'd do it even though I didn't want to. I didn't hear anything else about it for ages and hoped/ thought other plans had been made. However, when we met up the other day he asked me if I was still okay to be an Usher. I pretended I hadn't agreed to do this and had no recollection of being asked. He seemed okay with this and explained why I wouldn't want to do it.
I'm just wondering if anyone with the same social anxiety has any experiences of their own regarding attending a wedding as a single male where they only know the groom / bride? How did you get through it? Was it as bad as you thought? If you told your freind the truth that you didn't want to go because of your Autism how did they take this? Were they understanding?
