Resource recommendation about relationships

Hello Wave 

I’ve seen some individuals recommending books about relationships. Whilst I haven’t read them, from outset they felt more for reader who wants to understand what autistic person is going through. (I could be wrong) I was wondering if there is something that is for an autistic person wanting to learn on what NT person expects. I am specifically struggling to nail expectations about romance and intimacy. 

I am also struggling with adapting new behaviours easily, it takes time. Would be curious to hear any tips? For sometime now I’ve  been trying to take notes about my other half to help me track her likes and wants, which helps a lot! But still need to get organisation nailed down.

Thank you!!!

  • Thank you for sharing! 

    What I find challenging is remembering what is expected, hence I started taking notes. The other challenge is actioning some of the notes, I can easily loose track of time and it may drug on for few weeks or maybe even a month before I action it. Had to add certain things to my routine to make it easier for myself.

    Communication, for me, is definitely a challenge :( Being open and honest is hard.

  • I have only found one book that explains non autistic behaviour to autistic people - it's called "A field guide to earthlings - an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" by Ian Ford.

     I don't know what new behaviours you want to adapt, but I feel that the main thing is communication. If its that which is difficult for you, explain this to your partner at a time when you are feeling communication is more manageable, and tell her what situations might make it difficult for you to respond in an expected way and what you need to do to recover when you are overloaded.

  • I watched some dating info on YouTube, then realised I wasn't actually bothered by the dating bit but more the human interaction stuff which could also be applied more generally. It is the emotional connection that is they key part.

    As with all things internet related, the majority is rubbish, but there are some good bits. You just need to find it.

    Note that NT people don't always know what they want, what they say and what they really want can be different, some is subconscious so they respond without knowing why or necessarily thinking about it.

    I suppose it is also worth stating that everyone is different. So perhaps might just be best to talk to your partner.