Late assessment - ADIR without an informant who knew me as a child

I have just been through this, I am also 56 and my parents are close to 80 and actually still alive.

I have no school reports, almost no pictures of me as a kid, no videos etc as it is pre internet and pre smart phone and developing photos was expensive. 

It has been done based on my memories. It has been hard. I was quite isolated so find it hard to give examples or be sure what I did, behaved like, what friends I had. It is hard to remember. I just did the best I could. I remember being a teenager and my twenties and I contrasted that with more recent stuff.

Since ASD is a developmental condition they want to see if you had any traits when young, so your current issues are not down to trauma, drugs, or do some other mental health issue. But Aspergers doesn't always show much till you get into the adult world with all the social, relationship and work pressures. They know this of course.

They are going to talk to my parents, but the forms they filled in (I think there are two) do not say much. They also can't remember much. I was going to keep them out of it, but they wanted to help. I don't think they will add much.

It is possible to proceed without an informant but it makes it more tricky. I didn't want to end up with an inconclusive result.

If you have many obvious traits and can point to various challenges in your life they can judge based on this. 

If was worried about demonstrating impairment, as I can function in a job, but the definition is more broad and covers lifestyle issues. I learn the conclusion in 12 days.

I find your answer very helpful. I have many pictures of myself from my childhood and teens, I have copies of the works that were my interests at that time, the trams, the dolls as a teen, I’m also a living example of fluent Russian speaker. That was also my very deep interest. The problem is that I don’t have any reports saying, how I was socially. I have school certificates with only my grades, which show some sort of spikey skill sets but it does not say much about me how I was there. It was only said that I’m too quiet and too shy but nothing in written. My mom could give a lot of useful information about me in my childhood- meltdowns, dissociations, isolation, difficulties with finding friends, not reacting to my name, weird obsessive interests etc. but she wouldn’t support me in getting the diagnosis because she believes it was just me being a bit weird or childish or too dramatic (meltdowns). She does not accept a possibility of me being autistic, so I can’t use her as an informant. All I have is a request to speak to a psychologist through a school form and some diplomas from sommer camps stating that I was quiet, shy and whiny. I don’t think this would help. In addition I’m living in other country than where I grew up. So there I would have to additionally pay for translation. I lack all medical information till I was 7. I know they were concerned about my irregular development, including walking and talking, but when I finally hit the milestones and exceeded in speech, they assumed everything is fine.

I find your answer very helpful. I have many pictures of myself from my childhood and teens, I have copies of the works that were my interests at that time, the trams, the dolls as a teen, I’m also a living example of fluent Russian speaker. That was also my very deep interest. The problem is that I don’t have any reports saying, how I was socially. I have school certificates with only my grades, which show some sort of spikey skill sets but it does not say much about me how I was there. It was only said that I’m too quiet and too shy but nothing in written. My mom could give a lot of useful information about me in my childhood- meltdowns, dissociations, isolation, difficulties with finding friends, not reacting to my name, weird obsessive interests etc. but she wouldn’t support me in getting the diagnosis because she believes it was just me being a bit weird or childish or too dramatic (meltdowns). She does not accept a possibility of me being autistic, so I can’t use her as an informant. All I have is a request to speak to a psychologist through a school form and some diplomas from sommer camps stating that I was quiet, shy and whiny. I don’t think this would help. In addition I’m living in other country than where I grew up. So there I would have to additionally pay for translation. I lack all medical information till I was 7. I know they were concerned about my irregular development, including walking and talking, but when I finally hit the milestones and exceeded in speech, they assumed everything is fine.

Your answer was very helpful. I can travel, I’m living in Germany and there is a clinic in my town so this is not an issue. I don’t want to get misdiagnosed with autism in case if I don’t have it. So I would not trust any online or on phone assessment. 

I know online there are various people who say to create an enormous folder of evidence. There are also some who then say a lot of it was not looked at.

The assessment is looking for evidence to tick boxes. Once you have enough evidence to tick a box having 10 times as much does not change anything.

Thinking about it hard beforehand helps. I have filled out 11 questionnaires. One took me a couple of weeks, others just 30 mins. I have I also been thinking about my issues for a few months and had written lots down as I was looking for patterns. So some was fresh in mind. I also have a good memory for anything unusual.

You can look up the NICE guidelines and the DSM5 criteria so you have an idea. 

Being prepared so you don't just say "Don't know" helps. But you don't have to answer every question or identify with every issue.

I am not sure if I should say this, but it might help to stop people worrying:

Note that it not just what you say, it is how you say it, the words you use, mannerisms, body language, topics, the things you remember, phrasing, what worries you, what causes you stress, what items you keep circling back to, etc. It is the whole picture. 

You want to go into detail and make sure they understand, but it is not therapy, they don't need the whole story. I keep worrying I didn't say enough, but they have told me they will ask if they need more.

Two psychologists and some others have said there are good grounds to suspect, but you never know till the final result. I have found they give little away and my probing has resulted in no clues as to what the verdict will be.

Doing it face to face rather than over the phone is better as they can see more, but if may not be possible if you can't travel.