Misunderstanding of Autism

I'm in my late 50s, diagnosed at 55 having suffered many years of misunderstanding.  I used to work in IT with a senior and well paid job, but when I told my manager I suspected I was autistic, he did everything he could to make sure I didn't work again, including telling me to reassess my life because autism wasn't acceptable in the workplace. He tried to persuade me to take my own life.

I now work as an Advocate in secure mental health hospitals - on a fraction of what I was earning, and at a level I can't really live on. That's not the problem, though. 

I meet a LOT of neurodiverse people in acute and secure wards who are there because just they are different, and don't conform to the expected norms of life (e.g. not eating as regularly as others, having obsessive interests that make sense to themselves but not the mental health teams, hostile personalities because they want to be alone and don't require, need or want interaction with others, especially when they don't share their opinions.).

Today, in one of the hospitals I visit I met a young lady, newly admitted, who I was told was verbally agressive and to be careful of. I knocked on the door and asked if I was able to come in to talk. They accepted me in, and one of the first things they told me was that they were autistic. We immediately hit it off and could understand each other, because we could understand each others experiences and difficulties being accepted by society.

Staff were amazed that I was able to talk to this lady so quickly!  We all know why I could!  One of the social workers didn't believe either of us were autistic. For me, it was because I am a calm and very caring person.  Their attitude is that we shouldn't seek diagnosis, and it is the others, who don't understand us, that are the problem.  While I would like to agree with them, I needed to get my diagnosis to demonstrate to the company I used to work for that my boss was discriminating against me.  I am much happier now I know why so many things were harder for me as a child and young adult.  To be honest, my 30's, 40's and 50s have not been great because I felt that I was like a fish out of water in the world, so I built a brick walled tank around me.

What are your thoughts on diagnosis - i.e. is it just a fad, like I was told today? Is it helpful? Why, when you are (highly) intelligent do people not believe you are autistic but also don't accept you because you of your autistic traits? I'm finding it really hard not to lock myself away in my cabin and seal myself off from society, enjoying the music I love, building Lego, programming Raspberry Pi's and geeking out. 

I have deeper thoughts about humanity and its (lack of) existance, but it's nothing I can and will do anything about.  I'm too much of a pacafist/vegetarian to halm any creature, which is apparantly another fault of mine!  Argh! We can't do anything right!

Parents
  • Today, the last day at one of the hospitals where I support patients, I helped an autistic person get discharged. He was on Section 2 because he's autistic and has very strong views about certain things. Nothing to get locked up for 28 days for! He's quite capable of looking after himself, but he just doesn't like interaction with people who don't agree with his views (veganism). 

    It is so disturbing that mental health (inc. crisis teams) don't recognise us as just being different; they sometimes assume that our difference is a mental health issue. It is not. This lovely, caring guy is finally getting home, and acepting help, whereas previously his lack of communications was being seen as an issue.

    Communicate with us in a way we are comfortable, and we will respond appropriately.  Communicate in an agressive way that scares us because we don't understand what is going on, we will react in a way thay might be seen as non-conformant, and therefore needs locking up!

    I'm quite cross about what has happened. He should not have ever been there, but his Autism led to him being sectioned. This is unacceptable. 

    A lot of the clients I work for are neurodiverse; I recognise it, tell them about how it makes us feel, and something clicks in their minds. They suddenly realise they are different, and what they are is ok; it's normal for us. It's that society has issues acepting us for who we are, and our special interests are seen as obsessive. It's not - I buy another Mini once the old one starts to need a lot of work. It has to be a Mini; that's me, it's what I identify as. And that makes no sense to people who don't understand our differences, or 'obsessions'. There is NOTHING wrong with those.

Reply
  • Today, the last day at one of the hospitals where I support patients, I helped an autistic person get discharged. He was on Section 2 because he's autistic and has very strong views about certain things. Nothing to get locked up for 28 days for! He's quite capable of looking after himself, but he just doesn't like interaction with people who don't agree with his views (veganism). 

    It is so disturbing that mental health (inc. crisis teams) don't recognise us as just being different; they sometimes assume that our difference is a mental health issue. It is not. This lovely, caring guy is finally getting home, and acepting help, whereas previously his lack of communications was being seen as an issue.

    Communicate with us in a way we are comfortable, and we will respond appropriately.  Communicate in an agressive way that scares us because we don't understand what is going on, we will react in a way thay might be seen as non-conformant, and therefore needs locking up!

    I'm quite cross about what has happened. He should not have ever been there, but his Autism led to him being sectioned. This is unacceptable. 

    A lot of the clients I work for are neurodiverse; I recognise it, tell them about how it makes us feel, and something clicks in their minds. They suddenly realise they are different, and what they are is ok; it's normal for us. It's that society has issues acepting us for who we are, and our special interests are seen as obsessive. It's not - I buy another Mini once the old one starts to need a lot of work. It has to be a Mini; that's me, it's what I identify as. And that makes no sense to people who don't understand our differences, or 'obsessions'. There is NOTHING wrong with those.

Children
  • It has to be a Mini

    I know what you mean. For me, it’s laptops – it has to be a Lenovo Thinkpad (the only laptops that have a trackpoint).

    Regarding your question about diagnosis, I don’t think it’s faddish. But I do think it depends on your circumstances. In my case, having done several of the screening tests and read widely about the spectrum, I recognize myself as clearly autistic. So I don’t see much benefit for me in having a diagnosis; I would merely be ceding my agency to a professional gatekeeper.