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Misunderstanding of Autism

GeekyTim

I'm in my late 50s, diagnosed at 55 having suffered many years of misunderstanding.  I used to work in IT with a senior and well paid job, but when I told my manager I suspected I was autistic, he did everything he could to make sure I didn't work again, including telling me to reassess my life because autism wasn't acceptable in the workplace. He tried to persuade me to take my own life.

I now work as an Advocate in secure mental health hospitals - on a fraction of what I was earning, and at a level I can't really live on. That's not the problem, though. 

I meet a LOT of neurodiverse people in acute and secure wards who are there because just they are different, and don't conform to the expected norms of life (e.g. not eating as regularly as others, having obsessive interests that make sense to themselves but not the mental health teams, hostile personalities because they want to be alone and don't require, need or want interaction with others, especially when they don't share their opinions.).

Today, in one of the hospitals I visit I met a young lady, newly admitted, who I was told was verbally agressive and to be careful of. I knocked on the door and asked if I was able to come in to talk. They accepted me in, and one of the first things they told me was that they were autistic. We immediately hit it off and could understand each other, because we could understand each others experiences and difficulties being accepted by society.

Staff were amazed that I was able to talk to this lady so quickly!  We all know why I could!  One of the social workers didn't believe either of us were autistic. For me, it was because I am a calm and very caring person.  Their attitude is that we shouldn't seek diagnosis, and it is the others, who don't understand us, that are the problem.  While I would like to agree with them, I needed to get my diagnosis to demonstrate to the company I used to work for that my boss was discriminating against me.  I am much happier now I know why so many things were harder for me as a child and young adult.  To be honest, my 30's, 40's and 50s have not been great because I felt that I was like a fish out of water in the world, so I built a brick walled tank around me.

What are your thoughts on diagnosis - i.e. is it just a fad, like I was told today? Is it helpful? Why, when you are (highly) intelligent do people not believe you are autistic but also don't accept you because you of your autistic traits? I'm finding it really hard not to lock myself away in my cabin and seal myself off from society, enjoying the music I love, building Lego, programming Raspberry Pi's and geeking out. 

I have deeper thoughts about humanity and its (lack of) existance, but it's nothing I can and will do anything about.  I'm too much of a pacafist/vegetarian to halm any creature, which is apparantly another fault of mine!  Argh! We can't do anything right!

Parents

  • I was diagnosed at 53 a couple of years ago. I always felt that I was missing something and found out I wasn't it was everyone else!!!

    Since then my life has been in freefall. I have lost my career because I asked for help and adjustments....how pathetic.

    I am lost in a spiral of uncertainty due to innate bias and discrimination by my management.

    I was well paid but now face being moved at best to an unfamiliar role within the NHS or at worst my employment will be terminated.

    This was supposed to be the answer but all I have encountered is misunderstanding. To hear my management talk I cannot do my job. Hell Ive got a PhD which is way more than them. However, they can talk the talk whereas I really struggle to do so but I do know my subject.

    I actually thought the NHS would be supportive but have found that all they do is treat the staff as a piece of ***.

  • in reply to Mr T

    I work for the NHS, but in England. Your right, the organisation doesn't care. I happen to have a manager who does though. Purely by chance. We spend a huge chunk of time at work so feeling like you do must be awful. When you say 'how pathetic' are you describing the response of the organisation to your reasonable adjustments request? If so, agreed, totally pathetic. 

    In terms of work place the thing that was a game changer in my work place was me asking for an occupational health referral to specifically look at the impact of my neurodiversity in my work place. My trust contracts out occ health so it was totally third party.

    Bits of paper shouldn't matter, but the world we inhabit means they do. My report made it clear I could do my job, but also outlined adjustments. That's a legally binding document. If it's not paid attention to then I can lodge a formal complaint under the disability discrimination act. 

    Don't know if something like that is even possible in Scotland. I would find looking for a new job very daunting, so this was at least something that made work more liveable.

    Thank you for your honesty.

  • in reply to Somewhat damaged..

    Yes I meant the organization's response is pathetic.

    I have occupational health recommendations stating I would be fit and capable with the adjustments noted.

    I am at conciliation stage with ACAS before a possible tribunal claim.

    I have about 1GB of data in an evidence file going back to before my ASD disclosure where, I knew there was some issues and was asking for help to solve them. Instead I was told that was part of my management duties.

    My ASD makes me very home centric and the thought of going somewhere else fill me with angst.

    I am really pleased you have a supportive manager and wish you the best.

Reply
  • in reply to Somewhat damaged..

    Yes I meant the organization's response is pathetic.

    I have occupational health recommendations stating I would be fit and capable with the adjustments noted.

    I am at conciliation stage with ACAS before a possible tribunal claim.

    I have about 1GB of data in an evidence file going back to before my ASD disclosure where, I knew there was some issues and was asking for help to solve them. Instead I was told that was part of my management duties.

    My ASD makes me very home centric and the thought of going somewhere else fill me with angst.

    I am really pleased you have a supportive manager and wish you the best.

Children
  • in reply to Mr T

    I thought you did but wanted to do a literality check.

    The best of luck with ACAS, it's utterly crap that conciliation is a mandatory part of the process. If it all breaks down and worst comes to the worst do some research into constructive dismissal. It will.put on the record that you've had to leave due to your employers unreasonable behaviour.

    With you with the home centricity. I've had neurotypicals glibly say 'why don't you just find another job then (previous post)'. It's just not worth trying to illustrate the anxiety that would kick off.

    It'd be good to hear how things go if you'd be willing to drop back in here from time to time.