Can't take anymore

Did the conversation not go as expected?

Or are you just worried you or they may have misunderstood it.

You can try to focus on what you know as fact, and try not to assume the rest. The facts are the facts, you can't change them. If you want a different result you could make a plan for that. By being in control and being clear it may help to stop thinking about it too much.

If you need to be sure about your assumptions you could plan how to do that as well, like have another conversation and what you need to say.

Perhaps writing it down may force you to crystallize your thoughts and you can then see them and go through them.

Distraction may help for a while but they still come back. Only dealing with them in some way makes them really go for me, else I am just burying them.

Stuart333 Im worried I was misunderstood. I've tried focusing on fact but it doesn't work. Thanks for your advice though I get where you coming from I will give these a go 

This was my point. You are worried and ruminating on the chance you were misunderstood. You don't know if you were or were not. While you don't know the thought will keep coming back and you can't resolve it as you don't know.

So how could you know. You could ask them, you could ask someone who knows them. You could write to them by  email or text, to clarify what you meant. You could call them. You could observe what they do or say to figure it out. 

Also does it matter. What is the worst that could happen if you were misunderstood? Is it easily fixed next time you see them?

I have recently learnt you need to watch out for the cognitive issues, e.g. assuming the worst, assuming you know what other people think, black and white thinking, catastrophising, etc.  it is these that cause the loops because your subconscious knows you are not sure.

Also if you try to be clear when you communicate you can stop yourself worrying later. If you are not sure try to be clarify what the other person understood at the time. It takes a bit of courage.

I know all of this is hard to do and it is easy to say. But try to remove the opportunities to ruminate. Because you will do it anyway if you can. My worst one is worrying over something for 27 years that may not be true and was not unreasonable. It is about knowing yourself and what you do if not careful.

Thanks Stuart333 I'll take a look at that. Glad it's helped you and that it's become a special interest. 

Thanks Stuart333 I'll take a look at that. Glad it's helped you and that it's become a special interest.