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Imposter syndrome and Surprised responses

Merida

Since being diagnosed as autistic as an adult ( last week) I am suffering with imposter syndrome. I immediately felt relief after the diagnosis and felt a weight had been lifted, so I wanted to tell everyone. However, many people were surprised and have said things like, ' wow, you can't tell,' and 'you're really good at masking.' This just consolidates my fear that I'm a fraud.  I don't know how to respond to it. I haven't been consciously masking. I've just been surviving in the only way I knew how to. I wasn't prepared for the questions that have followed, 'what are your symptoms?' 'what makes you autistic?' I feel like they're asking me what colour underwear I'm wearing!! 

How do people respond to/ deal with this? I feel I'm suddenly off script and I don't have the answers or an explanation. 

Parents

  • I now have this. 

    I keep thinking the whole process was a bit self indulgent and somehow there is a mistake. It's all lack of sleep, or a hormonal imbalance or I subconsciously cheated on the tests 

    Even though I can see some of the issues in myself I think I can't be bad enough. Even though my psychologist and he two that did the assesment think so. They're also going to recommend I need some additional help. Yet I am feeling a bit better.

  • in reply to Stuart333
    Stuart333 said:

    I now have this. 

    I keep thinking the whole process was a bit self indulgent and somehow there is a mistake.

    I remember some of your previous replies to others, such as:

    Stuart333 said:
    I didn't pick the cheapest and checked accreditations and whether they followed NICE guidelines. I'm also in the south and prices seem less elsewhere. But I view it as a.one-time deal and I want it to be conclusive and unchallengeable.
    Stuart333 said:
    If you've been diagnosed someone has independently concluded you have it. So you can't be an imposter.

    Ultimately, it doesn't seem to matter how much one might spend on an assessment (if having it carried out privately), how thorough it is, what the assessor's credentials are, how certain they tell us they are about our diagnosis, etc. Despite all such things, many of us will still experience imposter syndrome.

    Just to be clear, I'm not saying any of this in order to be in any way critical of you, how you feel, or what you've said to others previously.

    Rather, your own experience is perhaps a good example of how, regardless of how hard we might try, in advance, to avoid it, and regardless of how confident we might expect to feel in our diagnosis afterwards (if confirmed), these feelings can still be very common.

    Some of the potential reasons why are discussed here:

    Embace Autism - Introducing autistic impostor syndrome

  • in reply to Bunny

    I know I wrote those things. I don't trust people. I am not sure why, it means I only trust my own judgement. I thought I might have some issue accepting the result, but I had hoped I wouldn't. 

    I don't often follow my own advice either. I seem to see things clearly when they apply to others but get confused when I see the same thing in myself. I try to analyse everything but I can't see myself from the outside.

    I put up the post as I thought it be interesting or help others who have been diagnosed in the last week or two.

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  • in reply to Bunny

    I know I wrote those things. I don't trust people. I am not sure why, it means I only trust my own judgement. I thought I might have some issue accepting the result, but I had hoped I wouldn't. 

    I don't often follow my own advice either. I seem to see things clearly when they apply to others but get confused when I see the same thing in myself. I try to analyse everything but I can't see myself from the outside.

    I put up the post as I thought it be interesting or help others who have been diagnosed in the last week or two.

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