• Replies 31 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 2719 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Imposter syndrome and Surprised responses

Merida

Since being diagnosed as autistic as an adult ( last week) I am suffering with imposter syndrome. I immediately felt relief after the diagnosis and felt a weight had been lifted, so I wanted to tell everyone. However, many people were surprised and have said things like, ' wow, you can't tell,' and 'you're really good at masking.' This just consolidates my fear that I'm a fraud.  I don't know how to respond to it. I haven't been consciously masking. I've just been surviving in the only way I knew how to. I wasn't prepared for the questions that have followed, 'what are your symptoms?' 'what makes you autistic?' I feel like they're asking me what colour underwear I'm wearing!! 

How do people respond to/ deal with this? I feel I'm suddenly off script and I don't have the answers or an explanation. 

Parents

  • Hi, unfortunately you will get occasional comments like you have had. I  think that sometimes people just come back with ‘rabbit in the headlights’ comments. They thought they knew you and the information stuns them. 

    It’s not unusual to feel you are an imposter, you’re not, it took me a long time to work out what is the real me, the masking becomes so normal and we get very good at it. I had the ‘we are all a little bit autistic,” my answer was, “no we all have human traits, that doesn’t make everyone autistic.”  Remember sharing you are autistic doesn’t give anyone the right to decide on the severity of your condition. You will lose a few people along the way, these are the ones that you don’t need.

  • in reply to Roy

    Thank you. Yes, I think you're right about the rabbit in the headlights thing and I have to remember that this has come out of the blue as far as they are concerned. I wouldn't know where to begin with unmasking as it seems embedded into everything. It would be like pulling a thread of wool on a jumper and unravelling the whole thing. 

Reply
  • in reply to Roy

    Thank you. Yes, I think you're right about the rabbit in the headlights thing and I have to remember that this has come out of the blue as far as they are concerned. I wouldn't know where to begin with unmasking as it seems embedded into everything. It would be like pulling a thread of wool on a jumper and unravelling the whole thing. 

Children
No Data