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Imposter syndrome and Surprised responses

Merida

Since being diagnosed as autistic as an adult ( last week) I am suffering with imposter syndrome. I immediately felt relief after the diagnosis and felt a weight had been lifted, so I wanted to tell everyone. However, many people were surprised and have said things like, ' wow, you can't tell,' and 'you're really good at masking.' This just consolidates my fear that I'm a fraud.  I don't know how to respond to it. I haven't been consciously masking. I've just been surviving in the only way I knew how to. I wasn't prepared for the questions that have followed, 'what are your symptoms?' 'what makes you autistic?' I feel like they're asking me what colour underwear I'm wearing!! 

How do people respond to/ deal with this? I feel I'm suddenly off script and I don't have the answers or an explanation. 

Parents

  • When I told my only friend, that my therapist gave me such suspected diagnosis, she said that there is nothing wrong with me. Many of us hear that. Paul Micalleff also talked about his experience with his family after the diagnosis. 
    the truth is that my only friend who knows me for around 18 years knows not much about me. Because I was told earlier in life that my behavior is inaccurate, I started hiding it or modifying while being around people. Including my friend. When I told her some of my secrets, things that I do when I’m alone, it left her speechless, she never approached this topic anymore. She was also shocked to hear about my perception. 
    The person who sees me everyday and often asks “what’s wrong with me” is my husband. And he agreed that I do show these symptoms since he knows me (6 years) and I know about autism 1,5 year. 
    you are not a fraud. I can imagine how it feels. Also in my family there were people who used to tell my mom, that there is  something wrong with me, but she always ignored that saying I’m just me or just a little weirdo. She does not accept the idea of me being possibly autistic, because it’s not severe autism. I’m quite intelligent (not my opinion, it’s what I often hear) and also stupid - that one I hear too, especially in very awkward social situations. 

Reply

  • When I told my only friend, that my therapist gave me such suspected diagnosis, she said that there is nothing wrong with me. Many of us hear that. Paul Micalleff also talked about his experience with his family after the diagnosis. 
    the truth is that my only friend who knows me for around 18 years knows not much about me. Because I was told earlier in life that my behavior is inaccurate, I started hiding it or modifying while being around people. Including my friend. When I told her some of my secrets, things that I do when I’m alone, it left her speechless, she never approached this topic anymore. She was also shocked to hear about my perception. 
    The person who sees me everyday and often asks “what’s wrong with me” is my husband. And he agreed that I do show these symptoms since he knows me (6 years) and I know about autism 1,5 year. 
    you are not a fraud. I can imagine how it feels. Also in my family there were people who used to tell my mom, that there is  something wrong with me, but she always ignored that saying I’m just me or just a little weirdo. She does not accept the idea of me being possibly autistic, because it’s not severe autism. I’m quite intelligent (not my opinion, it’s what I often hear) and also stupid - that one I hear too, especially in very awkward social situations. 

Children
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