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Imposter syndrome and Surprised responses

Merida

Since being diagnosed as autistic as an adult ( last week) I am suffering with imposter syndrome. I immediately felt relief after the diagnosis and felt a weight had been lifted, so I wanted to tell everyone. However, many people were surprised and have said things like, ' wow, you can't tell,' and 'you're really good at masking.' This just consolidates my fear that I'm a fraud.  I don't know how to respond to it. I haven't been consciously masking. I've just been surviving in the only way I knew how to. I wasn't prepared for the questions that have followed, 'what are your symptoms?' 'what makes you autistic?' I feel like they're asking me what colour underwear I'm wearing!! 

How do people respond to/ deal with this? I feel I'm suddenly off script and I don't have the answers or an explanation. 

Parents

  • You. Are. Not. A. Fraud.

    Just needed to clarify that. Imposter syndrome sucks (I’ve suffered it both as an Autistic and a musician), but you’ve got a diagnosis that can serve as proof that you really do have it. Not everyone who legitimately has Autism has a diagnosis they can point to.

    Okay now for your question: One way that I deal with people who feed my imposter syndrome is by weeding out who I feel safe telling about my diagnosis. If you know someone understands Autism or you are really close with them, it is a little easier to explain what you have than say a random coworker or acquaintance. For example, I disclosed as Autistic to one of my coworkers at my last job because he first mentioned he has a niece with Autism, and I was able to explain that I have some similar characteristics to her.

    Another idea is to practice. Us Autistic folk are famous for practicing conversations ahead of time, so go for it! Write down what characteristics you think apply to your Autism and practice saying them aloud as if you are trying to explain them to someone else. Think of what questions someone else might ask about those qualities and be ready for that.

    Bottom line: Stave off imposter syndrome with preparation. Be careful who you tell and practice what you’ll tell them.

Reply

  • You. Are. Not. A. Fraud.

    Just needed to clarify that. Imposter syndrome sucks (I’ve suffered it both as an Autistic and a musician), but you’ve got a diagnosis that can serve as proof that you really do have it. Not everyone who legitimately has Autism has a diagnosis they can point to.

    Okay now for your question: One way that I deal with people who feed my imposter syndrome is by weeding out who I feel safe telling about my diagnosis. If you know someone understands Autism or you are really close with them, it is a little easier to explain what you have than say a random coworker or acquaintance. For example, I disclosed as Autistic to one of my coworkers at my last job because he first mentioned he has a niece with Autism, and I was able to explain that I have some similar characteristics to her.

    Another idea is to practice. Us Autistic folk are famous for practicing conversations ahead of time, so go for it! Write down what characteristics you think apply to your Autism and practice saying them aloud as if you are trying to explain them to someone else. Think of what questions someone else might ask about those qualities and be ready for that.

    Bottom line: Stave off imposter syndrome with preparation. Be careful who you tell and practice what you’ll tell them.

Children
  • in reply to profdanger

    Thank you for this. I am going to keep reading the first line over and over until it's embedded in my brain. I don't know why I didn't prepare for the questions previously, but I will do now.

    I know that sometimes people are surprised or confused about my behaviour or words, so I thought that my being Autistic would explain that to them, but for some reason it doesn't - I think on some level I have to accept that people will always remain confusing to me.