Newly diagnosed at 34

Hi Joshua! I work best in list format, so here goes:

1. You might want to change your username to not show both your first and last name. There’s a policy to try not to reveal identifying information on this forum.

2. There’s probably a better user than me on this forum for addressing what supports are available, as I am from America and supports probably look very different over here. So I’ll leave that to someone else.

3. As for finding the real you; I have found that watching and learning from other Autistic people’s perspectives has helped in my personal journey. I read several books written by Autistic individuals that have sparked little “aha!” moments in learning more about my own traits and behaviors. The most important factor in learning more about yourself, however, is time. Give yourself time to figure out who you are.

4. Getting your wife to accept your diagnosis is a tough one. I have a NT wife and she also disregarded that I am Autistic until I received an official diagnosis at age 30. Once I had that diagnosis, it took a few months but she eventually realized that I am definitely Autistic. It helped that she did her own research around that time and realized that many of the common traits of Autism align with mine. As for having her accept your needs, the best advice I can give is either give it time or invest in couple’s counseling. I recently went through couple’s counseling with my wife (it was more for how our ND daughters and other family issues are straining our relationship, but my personal needs ended up being a part of it too) and it was a big help for us.

I hope that helps!

Hi Joshua! I work best in list format, so here goes:

1. You might want to change your username to not show both your first and last name. There’s a policy to try not to reveal identifying information on this forum.

2. There’s probably a better user than me on this forum for addressing what supports are available, as I am from America and supports probably look very different over here. So I’ll leave that to someone else.

3. As for finding the real you; I have found that watching and learning from other Autistic people’s perspectives has helped in my personal journey. I read several books written by Autistic individuals that have sparked little “aha!” moments in learning more about my own traits and behaviors. The most important factor in learning more about yourself, however, is time. Give yourself time to figure out who you are.

4. Getting your wife to accept your diagnosis is a tough one. I have a NT wife and she also disregarded that I am Autistic until I received an official diagnosis at age 30. Once I had that diagnosis, it took a few months but she eventually realized that I am definitely Autistic. It helped that she did her own research around that time and realized that many of the common traits of Autism align with mine. As for having her accept your needs, the best advice I can give is either give it time or invest in couple’s counseling. I recently went through couple’s counseling with my wife (it was more for how our ND daughters and other family issues are straining our relationship, but my personal needs ended up being a part of it too) and it was a big help for us.

I hope that helps!