I just rejoined Instagram to use it as a place to park my business. Mainly because it's cheaper than paying for web hosting and burnout is crippling my creativity at the moment.
I followed a few local accounts and one of them was showing a social that had happened at one of the local spots in town. My instant reaction was a mixture of jealousy and derision, and an assumption that they're probably all NT and I could think of few things worse than going to a bar with the intention to talk to a load of people I'd never met before and make 'connections'. The overwhelm and energy drain would be substantial, and I'd probably make myself look stupid and awkward.
The thing is, I wouldn't want to go to something like this so why does it bother me so much? If the people who enjoy these things want to go and get something out of it then surely I should either feel happy for them or have no feelings at all.
I think it just reminds me that I can't do things like this anymore. It's not something I'd have ever been comfortable with, but 25-30 years ago I'd have tried to anyway because I thought that's what normal people were supposed to do. I'd have gone and tried for a while, and then ended up stood in a corner with my back to a wall, looking and feeling lost.
I know this isn't my kind of thing and it never really was, but it still makes me feel sad and marginally bitter that I don't fit in with people generally, even though another part of me is quite grateful that I know it and am far less likely to find myself in such uncomfortable environments ever again.