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Recently diagnosed - struggling

illustrated.lady

Hello!

I'm new here, I was diagnosed with 'high functioning autism' about 5 weeks ago, I just got my diagnostic report on Sunday.

I'm a 32 year old woman and never felt like I fit in, like I didn't connect with people and being around people drained me, sure, I can mask and say the right things and smile but it's all an act. I've always had issues in jobs and have had attendance issues and sick leave for stress in every job I've had. I've been on anti-depressants for ten years.

The diagnosis makes so much sense and I hope it will eventually allow me to be easier on myself and not so harsh on myself for struggling with things. I do feel like I'm struggling to come to terms with the diagnosis, it's a relief in some ways that there's a reason for my behaviors but it's also like....I don't know how to manage. I don't know how to get out of this cycle of stress and overwhelm and as I'm sure we're all aware, there's no support for autistic adults.

If you've read all of this then I sincerely thank you. I feel quite alone. 

Parents

  • Hello and welcome! 

    As someone else has said, disclosing your diagnosis in interviews is a good way to tell which employers might discriminate or not understand, as those ones may be less likely to employ you. Which is illegal, and you wouldn't know it was that or something else because they wouldn't outright say that. 

    But, some employers will have on their website if they're an autism/neurodivergent friendly employer. You can also look at Glassdoor reviews to see if anyone has said anything negative about stuff like that. And also if the environment is right for you. 

    I told my employer from the start about my ADHD, and since being diagnosed as autistic I've told them that too. I'm quite lucky in that we have quite a lot of neurodivergent staff, and my employer is understanding and good with reasonable adjustments if you need them. 

    If you ever do need paid for adjustments at work that your employer can't give you, Access to Work is a governmental offer that you can apply for (when you're employed).

    Aa for supporting yourself, Ive found compassion-focused techniques really helpful for self acceptance. There's some decent workbooks and information about it online, if you're interested. 

     I also found it helpful to analyse any beliefs I had/have about autism and disability in general, as that can affect how we process the diagnosis (our society is intrinsically ableist and we unfortunately internalise some of that, which can cause us to feel shame - happens to the best of us!)

    Most importantly though, give yourself time. It's a process rather than a final destination. Be kind to yourself Slight smile

Reply

  • Hello and welcome! 

    As someone else has said, disclosing your diagnosis in interviews is a good way to tell which employers might discriminate or not understand, as those ones may be less likely to employ you. Which is illegal, and you wouldn't know it was that or something else because they wouldn't outright say that. 

    But, some employers will have on their website if they're an autism/neurodivergent friendly employer. You can also look at Glassdoor reviews to see if anyone has said anything negative about stuff like that. And also if the environment is right for you. 

    I told my employer from the start about my ADHD, and since being diagnosed as autistic I've told them that too. I'm quite lucky in that we have quite a lot of neurodivergent staff, and my employer is understanding and good with reasonable adjustments if you need them. 

    If you ever do need paid for adjustments at work that your employer can't give you, Access to Work is a governmental offer that you can apply for (when you're employed).

    Aa for supporting yourself, Ive found compassion-focused techniques really helpful for self acceptance. There's some decent workbooks and information about it online, if you're interested. 

     I also found it helpful to analyse any beliefs I had/have about autism and disability in general, as that can affect how we process the diagnosis (our society is intrinsically ableist and we unfortunately internalise some of that, which can cause us to feel shame - happens to the best of us!)

    Most importantly though, give yourself time. It's a process rather than a final destination. Be kind to yourself Slight smile

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