I've wondered about this for ages, but the Pope's funeral made me think of it again, is it just us British or a Protestant thing not to have open caskets? I know the Americans are very keen on them, they seem to get a bit freaked out by cremations too.
Check out Simple Cremations, but don't give them any contact details or they'll hassle you to death, but I think thats basically what happens, they parcel you up and take you to the crem. I think the only time you wouldn't be able to have that straight away is if you have to have an autopy, people think you have to have died violently to have an autopsy, but if you die unexpectedly or haven't seen a doctor within the last couple of weeks, then they tend to do one. Most are now non-invasive and done as a CT scan, they only do an invasive one if they can't find what you died of. I've watched a series called Cause of Death on Channel 5 thats all about how coroners and their courts work, it's fascinating and comforting and the staff are so kind and caring to both the deceased and those left behind.
Only two feet from the coffin to the surface!? I could manage the digging myself if I wasn’t going to be dead.
I was wondering if it would be possible to get picked up in a hired van from home and taken straight to the burial site or crematorium, with no processing from an undertaker. Surely there would be fees only for the grave or cremation, though I expect there are rules that you must be in a box.
I think its the same here, you certainly have to have permission to be buried anywhere thats not a dedicated grave site. One fo the things that really bugs me is how expensive the whole business is, I think eco burials are more expensive that "normal" ones. I'll probably go or one of those simple cremation things where you just get picked up, taken to the crematorium, burnt and you ashes either disposed of or given to a nominated person.
I agree that different traditions in life and death are interesting. I am very interested in how different religions approach stages of life and death. People of different faiths and none seek to make meaning through rituals involving tangible actions. I did an Open University course on “Death and Dying” as part of my undergraduate degree. I loved it and it opened up a different world.
Wow that's interesting. I haven't been to a funeral where that has happened yet, hopefully won't do for a very long time to come. I have only seen it on TV so far which is why I wondered if it was just a 'TV' thing.
I think it's interesting there are so many traditions in life & death.
Your thoughts of having your ashes scattered at a neolithic site is appealing. I too don’t want any sort of funeral or fuss.
I would like to have an eco friendly burial in a bag that would decompose easily, and perhaps have a tree planted beside me. I don’t particularly want to be lying in an undertakers before a funeral but I don’t expect anyone would be able or willing to deal with my body any other way. Also N. Ireland hasn’t progressed to allowing dedicated sites for eco burials. I will probably end up cremated.
Mortuary and funeral practices intrigue me, both modern and historical and especially pre-historical.
I agree that we are very strange about death and bodies, particularly in Britain, we want them tidied away so as we don't have think about mortality, especially our own.
I don't really want to be remembered, I'm quite happy to disapear into the other world and have nobody remember me, I certainly don't want a load of weeping and wailing, if anyone did remember me then I'd hope it was fondly and not with anger or hatred, but then I'd be way beyond any of that.
I'd quite like a green burial, my body in a shroud and left to lie curled up in a sleeping postition in my earth bed, but if not then a simple cremation and my ashes scattered at the local neolithic burial mound. I think it would be good if we could have newly build mounds with niches for individuals or families and their pets, ashes, somewhere a comunity could come together and celebrate the dead as well as more personal memories.
“Earth to earth” happens at most of the gravesides I’ve been at. Although I’m no longer a practicing Catholic, I remember with a nice ‘fuzzy feeling’ the Ash Wednesday rituals in which foreheads would be marked with charcoal like ash, in the form of a cross, together with the accompanying words “remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return”. I always found the idea of us coming out of nothing and our bodies being of carbon rather comforting.
It's curious what goes through the mind isn't it? I spend a lot of time imagining what my funeral will be like, weird really as I won't ever know, unless I suddenly pop out of my body as an awesome 21st century ghost - 22nd century if I live long enough, unlikely, but I'm not ruling that possibility out!!
I would like an open casket, so my family can have a final image of me, something to remember me with. I like this idea, so long as I didn't get mauled by a bloodthirsty squirrel on my way home with the groceries... If you look facially presentable I think it would be nice to have that last look. When I attended my grans funeral, and my sisters, they both had closed caskets and that made me sad and frustrated that I didn't get the last look/image of them.
Instead there were framed pictures of them stood on top their coffins.
I would also like to be buried rather than cremated. I like the idea of everyone stood around my grave and the whole "earth to earth," performance you see on tv, assuming this happens in real life.
I think an open coffin at home before the funeral is mainly a Catholic thing in Britain, although it would be at home, rather than at the church.
My grandfather had this after he passed. I was too young, and not allowed to see him, but my mum remembers it well.
I think an open coffin at home before the funeral is mainly a Catholic thing in Britain, although it would be at home, rather than at the church.
In Ireland it is common for Catholics to be in an open coffin at home in the day/s before the funeral rite in a church. A priest would call at the home to say prayers with the family and the body would be sprinkled with holy water. Then body would be ‘waked’. A wake is a time for family, friends and colleagues to call at the home to pay their respects to the body, sit around and make small talk, while drinking tea and eating sandwiches and biscuits. The evening before the funeral, the coffin would be closed and taken to the church for a short service called ‘The Removal of the Remains’. The closed coffin would remain in the church until the funeral rites have been completed. Some Protestants here would leave the lid open too but it tends not to be common.
Nowadays, some Catholics don’t notify people of the time of ‘The Removal of the Remains’ and only close family would accompany the deceased to church.
The average Catholic would not be in an open coffin in a church. The Pope was exceptional in that he was the leader of the world’s Catholics and many people wanted to pay their respects.
Years ago, in Britain, Ireland and in places around the world, people had a healthier attitude to death than often do today. Years ago undertakers mightn’t have existed or weren’t often used. Usually the women of the home would have washed the body and laid it out ready for viewing. People tended not to be afraid of death so much then because it wasn’t sanitised.
Some of that healthy attitude to death has emerged in a different form in more recent times, through the availability of a more personalised funeral that may see the deceased buried or cremated in a coffin in the image of a Hell’s Angel motorbike sidecar or a Lego brick. For some, a funeral like this can help family and friends say goodbye on a happier note than they might have done if the funeral service had been of the usual standard format.
Yes, you have 'High' and 'Low' mass in a Catholic church. If you have a Requiem Mass at a funeral, this includes a Holy Communion and lasts for ages (certainly compared to a Protestant service, or most other funeral services).
Silly me, I didn't mention the wake.
DOes the Catholic church have differnt sorts of services too? I never knew that, I know that Protestants have high and low churches, but not being brought up with any religion and only absorbing what we did at school to a minimal extent I don't understand all the differnces and why etc? School assemblies where most religion was imparted to us by means of hymns and prayers that I didn't understand, I pretty much ignored it as one of infathomable things that happen at school.
Speaking as someone who was *supposed* to be Catholic, I would say that it depends on how seriously those involved take the religion and ceremony. There are various different churches within the Catholic faith too, and each has different levels of ceremony and service - just like you'd have a high mass or not. I guess if you wanted all the trimmings, so to speak, and a traditional service - including the open casket before-hand, then this would form part of the arrangement. Often the priest would be on hand to meet and greet as mourners came to pay respects at the coffin too. I'd point out that if you pay, you get what you desire (with all due respect)
My dad didn't want a fuss or even a funeral when he died, he was cremated in the pyjamas he died in and said he thought it a waste to burn a good set of clothes that someone else could make good use from. We saw him and said our goodbyes as he was dying and after he'd died whilst he was still at home waiting for the undertakers.
I've only ever been to one other funeral, so I don't know what happens at others, the other funeral was a Catholic one, I just sat politely and stayed quiet, interested, confused and amazed at what went on, all the stuff about the Pope and saints, the priest kept staring at me, I think he knew I was a not a Catholic and he seemed a bit hostile, I don't know why though.
I'd wondered about it having read several American books that refer to open caskets as normal, so I wondered if this was an American thing, or a Catholic thing.
I think in the UK it is common for close family to see the deceased in an open coffin in a visit to the undertakers, but then have a closed coffin for the funeral itself.
It's more a religious based thing as far as I am aware (open caskets) but this is for Catholics and Protestants. Perhaps there's too many non-believers about these days?
Apparently though, the cremation rate is steadily rising in the US and as many get cremated as are buried now.
**The things you must wonder about never cease to amaze me !
