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Your experiences please (good and not so good) of being diagnosed in later life

MikeByTheSea

I'm not formally diagnosed but so many of my lived experiences from early childhood through to adulthood (I'm now in my early 50s) shout autism.

Although I'm generally happy with beautiful grown up children, a partner I love very much, and a career that I've been lucky enough to enjoy - there are certain 'odd' things that I either do or don't do(!) according to those around me that I've never grasped, and it's really started to get me down and knock my confidence.

I have had a couple of meltdowns in recent months that my partner has found incredibly difficult to handle, a good friend has described me as weird (although they're generally supportive), and I've repeatedly been looked over when it comes to promotion at work.

I feel like shouting "but don't you understand I'm autistic!". It's got to the point for my own sanity that I feel like I just need to know for certain.

However, I'm also worried that such a move could backfire and be viewed as 'just an excuse' for 'oddness' by those around me.

So my question is, has getting a formal diagnosis actually helped people around you to understand you any better? Or has it had the opposite effect and made people think of you differently?

I'm hoping you will be prepared to share your experiences of getting a formal diagnosis as it will help to inform me about what to do.

Many thanks, Mike

  • I did it for myself - not for others.  But like many I was nearing Burnout when I reached out.  I've managed to get some therapy which has helped my anxieties.  The rest I'm just coming to terms , accepting my diagnosis, understanding the past but also thinking to the future to.  I've done limited disclosure to date, so am not broadcasting.  I have informed work - my boss has made some adjustments and I think we just need to develop those.  At home, not sure it's changed much tbh but then again they're NT, so what am I expecting ?.  Do you really crave promotion at work?, as I think I've actively stayed at my level of comfort to a large extent, and don't have anyone to manage (perfect for me).  I not sure Autistics have sole rights to being "odd"  - I would do the online embrace test before seeking a diagnosis.