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Feeling very sad and alone since diagnosis

Fran123

Hello, 

I’m 42 and have recently been diagnosed. And I’m not sure what to do next.

my assessment came about by being diagnosed with low mood and depression along with consistent panic attacks but nothing was helping, medication and talking therapies never seemed to help at all.

5 weeks ago I was actually shocked that I was diagnosed - I always thought I was just weird and anti social. After my diagnosis which was done on line I was sent a leaflet via email and that was it. Sent on my way with best wishes. 

I am now feeling even worse, my panic attacks are awful, my driving anxiety is even worse and the tears are daily. I feel lost and I’m struggling to find help. My GP said let just up your medication again and see how you go. Nothing has helped.  I’m on a wait list to see a mental health practitioner but it just feels like I’ve been given a label and that should solve things, when actually I’m still struggling and there is nothing I can do. 

did anyone else feel like this after a late diagnosis? Will the sadness ever go away? 

Parents

  • Hi Fran - welcome to the community.

    Throughout my life, I have suffered from recurrent depression and anxiety, along with a lack of benefit from antidepressant medications. In respect of those issues, learning that I am autistic was an important breakthrough for me, as I hope it can also be for you - so congratulations on your diagnosis.

    That being said, during the period after diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides potentially feeling relief, this also can include experiencing negative emotions like shock, confusion, (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    You might also find it helpful to read through the resources here:

    NAS - What is autism

    Otherwise, in terms of what to do next, my advice at this point would be to give yourself plenty of time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down.

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my ASD-related difficulties. 

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Reply

  • Hi Fran - welcome to the community.

    Throughout my life, I have suffered from recurrent depression and anxiety, along with a lack of benefit from antidepressant medications. In respect of those issues, learning that I am autistic was an important breakthrough for me, as I hope it can also be for you - so congratulations on your diagnosis.

    That being said, during the period after diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides potentially feeling relief, this also can include experiencing negative emotions like shock, confusion, (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    You might also find it helpful to read through the resources here:

    NAS - What is autism

    Otherwise, in terms of what to do next, my advice at this point would be to give yourself plenty of time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down.

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my ASD-related difficulties. 

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

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