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Gossip & RSD

Deleted User

I've been a personal trainer for 9 years this May, and these days I mostly help people aged 30-70 to get stronger, stay stronger, maintain mobility and be able to enjoy their life into later years with less chance of injury.

Not everyone buys into this and that's ok. Those people don't have to work with me and I can't help someone who doesn't think they need it. What does upset me though are the people in this age group who think they're past it and try to project that mindset onto others who do want to feel better, stronger etc. 

We have a group of these people in our gym. They're all women aged between 60-75, they occupy (and guard) the back row of the morning classes and seem to think that it's their only option. This is possibly because they see the weights area as a 'man's area' and they can only conform to gender stereotypes, possibly because they're intimidated by lifting anything heavier than studio weights and don't believe they can do anything better, possibly because they're stuck in their comfort zone or that they believe only men can do those things, and possibly because they don't know how strength training works and they believe they'll end up looking like men if they lift anything heavier than a bag of sugar, and inside their little clique that's the way things are.

We have a lot of female lifters of all ages at our gym who prove otherwise, but it's not enough to change their minds, and yesterday one of them implied I was pushing my client (F66) too hard because she was getting older. My client has worked with me for over 7 years and has exercised all her life. We have a very good rapport and she always enjoys her session. It upset me to hear this and reminded me again that I should steer clear of the class crowd. It upset me because I help a lot of people and try my best to improve their physical and mental health, but there are still people who think the worst of everyone, simply because of their own ignorance and insecurities, and it made me question myself, which also upset me.

I don't actually have to care what they think because I know I do good work and I love the people I work with. I wouldn't want to work with any of the people in that class, but it's really difficult to keep my RSD in check when I hear things like this and they sow seeds of doubt all over my work. Pensive

  • in reply to Iain

    Wow, I've never heard this Japanese saying before but it's one I need to try and remember because I have a strong inclination to question how things are done, and it often doesn't end well for me. Pensive

  • Unknown said:
    I mostly help people aged 30-70 to get stronger, stay stronger, maintain mobility and be able to enjoy their life into later years with less chance of injury.

    I'm male and approaching 60 now and after a few months where I was very physically active in property renovation (lots of heavy lifting work lasting several weeks) I ended up being quite ill and had to go to hospital for tests.

    The doctors there kept telling me to stop this line of work, stop being so active and just manage the staff rather than doing the work.

    I was quite taken aback at this as there was nothing physically wrong with me that they could pinpoint and they suspected I was just run down, so to suggest giving it up and being a spectator is not really good advice from how I understand the aging process.

    Unknown said:
    We have a group of these people in our gym. They're all women aged between 60-75, they occupy (and guard) the back row of the morning classes and seem to think that it's their only option. This is possibly because they see the weights area as a 'man's area' and they can only conform to gender stereotypes,

    I know quite a few ladies in this age group and there is a lot of social pressure here exerted because when one starts to get fitter, lose weight and improve when the lazier friends don't then there is an unspoken effort made to tear the successful one down just so the rest can feel good about their lack of progress.

    The Japanese phrase "the nail that stands up gets hammered down" springs to mind.

    I think most women in this age group use the gym as a social event rather than a fitness event when they are in groups but they also go in groups because many feel very self concious of their bodies and quite possibly would be afraid of going to the front of the class / space in case someone sees their less than fit forms.

    That's my observations anyway.