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Trying to get my spark back

Rach91

I should have posted this a long time ago but well better late than never. Basically I lost my spark it happened after my mum passed away and then it slowly came back but I lost it again when my dad moved away. When I was younger and I got my diagnosis when I was 21 I was relieved and saw it as a new chapter in my life everything made sense then I joined a group for young people called the enabled project and they also really helped me with a lot of things. I used to do public speaking around schools go to seminars and speak at them about my diagnosis and who I am. I loved it then when I reached the age of 26 I could no longer attend the project as I was over age. I came out of an abusive relationship and I struggled for a while. I slowly started to try to build myself up then the pandemic hit and my mum got ill. After her death I got the opportunity to go and work in America for the summer I loved it went back the following year and I loved it but then my dad moved away to live with his new partner and their getting married in the summer. I really want my spark back it’s still in there when I perform with fire but it quickly fades away. How can I get it back and keep it burning? I have gone through a lot of change in my life and some I have really struggled with.

  • I wanted to comment when I read this last week but didn't have an account. So I'm posting now before my account is deleted. 

    I cannot imagine what you have been through. Keep your eyes, mind and heart open. A spark may come when you are not expecting it. It may manifest differently or less obviously.  What I do think is important is that you recognise the spark you still have and where it comes from. However small, it is still there. There is always hope.

  • Have you read about burnout?  Do you feel that might be something you're experiencing considering the amount of change you've been through?

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout

    We can't actually give medical advice here (as you probably know already) but if you are struggling generally perhaps it would be a good idea to think about having a chat with your GP or even speaking with Primary Care about some talking therapy.  

    Wishing you well.