The past few weeks were chaos for me.
She knows I have ASD. But she doesn't know I have 'rejection sensitive dysphoria'
This is basically when my brain processes rejection/criticism as physical pain and has no inhibition to it, so the feeling blows up massively.
I thought she was gone when she disappeared for a few days when we were trying to arrange another adventure together. I was so scared, this wiped me out so much. I had my share of experiences (including one when someone I liked broke my heart and then bullied me out of a society with her friends), so assumed this was it.
She then wrote me saying she wanted to bake me a cake for my birthday, asking for preferences.
When she vanished again when she said she'd take a look at booking the adventure, I freaked out completely. I thought, again, this was it.
She wrote me the next day, saying we could do it when she came over, and spent the whole day texting me, including getting very worried when I briefly got myself lost in a highly unfamiliar city. She wrote me more this day than she ever had before.
She was extremely supportive with my conference presentation, absolutely truly wonderful to me. And continued writing me nice things when I got back.
She then came over for my birthday and spent the whole day with me. She put on a lot of perfume (everything she sat on still smells very pleasantly from it), she gave me presents, we booked an adventure together despite her busy schedule (she has a report due and is extremely worried about it) and a potential for rain that day. She was so lovely, playful and adorable. We were sitting together on the sofa for some time, and she sat extremely close to me with her whole body turned sideways to point at me.
She then continued writing me for the rest of the evening.
I was sure I'd lost her. Instead, I lost nothing. She's still here with me. And, honestly, what happened yesterday was my best interaction with her. The perfume was unbelievably flattering, and I really enjoyed my day with her.