Existential Issues/Bipolar

I was in one of those moods, this evening, where I felt despondant. Getting a Chinese, while the TV showed 'Family Entertainment' on ITV1. Thinking of witnessing my old family home, while getting a branch for Palm Sunday Mass, left to wrck and ruin made me wonder what I did with my life. I had the potential, but not the know-how.

I felt like quitting all, heading to the US and joining an Amish community. It was a Bipolar moment, unsure whether it's one or two, which soon disappeard when Leah came back from her wee adventures. She did, however, knock down my router. But I knew it was only temporary pain.

Holy Week.

  • I have a ciagnosis of manic depression from some 18 years ago. I have never quite sure if it is correct although I often have times of manic behaviour.  Now 67 I have recently made new friends and been told by three teachers I am ADHD  or Autistic. 

    i am not sure which is which or if it actually makes much difference. Meds for manic depression are a guessing game. Try this and if it doesn’t work try another.. All I know is I am a triangular peg in a round hole. . On top of all thwt I have suffered personal tragedy by way of loosing my wife to vascular dementia . There are often times when I feel life is no longer worth fighting for.

    Life is about tryung to keep going. But understanding myself a bit better helps. send me a PM when you next feel things getting out of control. It helps to talk with someone who gets it.

  • I usually manage my bipolar quite well and have been on a mood stabiliser for years. However, a recent acute episode means I've had to increase my dose and add sedatives and an antipsychotic. Starting to feel a bit better now but it took months and a lot of waiting lists.

    If you feel a relapse coming on it's best to contact the GP or Community Mental Health (if you're under their care) asap rather than wait it out. I've had a few episodes that start with that compulsive urge to "run away" from life. One lost me a very good friendship, another cost me around £6k. These things are best caught early!