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Really struggling to support my friend

Rach91

Hi I posted last week about my friend losing his dad and I’ve been supporting him. I’m really struggling to do that now he keeps snapping at me shutting me out and tomorrow we were supposed to be doing our usual Sunday and I was going to cook spaghetti bolognaise. Now he saying he not sure I’m worried because he losing weight I’m really struggling. I don’t know what to do I’m exhausted I’m not sleeping in the night. I get he grieving but I’m finding it to much right now and I just want to go up there tomorrow to cook him something to make sure he eating whether he likes it or not which I know is a bad idea but I just can’t sit around either. 

  • Rach91 said:
    I’m exhausted

    It sounds like it is tine to take the big hint from your body's messaging. 

    You need to put yourself first for a while.  Rest.  Do things you enjoy and let your mind meander where it will over your own thoughts (rather than worrying about the concerns for other people for a good while).

    You have done your utmost for the first week, or so, in support of your friends bereavement. 

    If you now leave them be for a bit; to have time to work through their own thoughts and emotions, hopefully, your earlier investment of kindly efforts will win through.

    Try not to worry too much about your friends food situation for a few days.  Most households tend to have quite a choice of edible food items in their kitchen area (alright, it won't be "Master Chef" but unless your friend also has a physical condition such as poorly managed diabetes - they should cope OK for a while).

    Tomorrow, at your house, you could consider making youi Bolognese sauce as usual.  Then you could serve yourself a portion with spaghetti as normal for your own Sunday main meal.  You could quickly cool the remainder of the Bolognese and put one portion in the fridge (in a microwaveable bowl sealed with cling film, or a microwave plastic tub with a lid) ... available either in case your friend turns up unexpectedly, or you fancy another easy nutritious meal of Bolognese for yourself on Tuesday.  If you had made 4:portions of Bolognese - you could put the remaining 2 portions into a freezer-safe pot or freezer plastic bag (write on what, how many portions and the cooked date) and put it onto the freezer ready to thaw and reheat thoroughly next Sunday - if your friend were to surface by then.

    It is important to write the date on cooked Bolognese you store in the freezer - because to be food-safe: it will need to be eaten before it has been in the freezer for 3 months.

    As your friend has already said they were not sure about tfe usual arrangements for this Sunday; I think you should respect their wishes in this instance.

    Look after yourself.