So I'm an alcoholic so is my mother. She drank when she was pregnant with me so I don't know if that messed up my brain making me more susceptible to drinking as an adult. It's probably the case. I find something about alcohol incredibly addictive and attractive. It's hard to say no to it. When I don't have it I am extremely miserable and upset. It's quite insidious the way that alcohol penetrates my brains defense system and makes me so vulnerable to it's appeal. My mother is the exact same (worse). To her she loved alcohol even more than her child (me). It is always present whenever I think of her I just think booze. I wonder what is going on here? Why are autistic people all alcoholics. I have met tons of autistic people over the years and they all have one thing in common they all love alcohol and seek it out like a mouse seeks out a block of cheese. I am aware that the common consensus among scientists is that there is some correlation between GABA dysfunction and autism this may explain in part the appeal for alcohol consumption on the part of autistic individuals. I woke up so early and all I can think about is alcohol. I feel like I need more. It's like when I am not on it I am holding my breath and when I take some I can finally breathe again. I don't think NTs are capable of understanding our syndrome we live with on a daily basis. I understand my brain chemistry has been irreversibly altered. However I have found that not consuming alcohol makes way for the brain to heal and repair to some extent.
