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Autistic burnout - is there any way to help?

WaitAndSee

I'm the mother of a very late diagnosed adult son with autism.   He's now 38, diagnosed two years ago.  Over the years he has had many autistic shutdowns we have come to realise.   They happened about twice a year and he would isolate himself for a week or two.  Usually end up depressed and needing help.  .  It could be that is what he is having now, but i  think, from what i have read it is a burnout.  its already more than 2 weeks, and there is no sign of any change.   He's been at uni for 18 months and putting a lot of pressure on himself.  Bur he has also really enjoyed it and has a wonderful girlfriend.  He lives alone and obviously  its hugely worrying for those of us that love him as he just won't communicate in any way.  Phone turned off,  front door barricaded.  No contact with his uni or his therapist.    We don't know if he's dead or alive or depressed/suicidal unless we enter his flat uninvited which he hates, of course.  I did see him yesterday, and he seemed to be 'normal' apart from not wanting to see me or anyone else.  I am now getting used to this new normal  and realsie there is nothing i can do - or is there?  

can anyone offer any similar experience/advice or reassurance.   

Parents

  • I am really pleased you managed to see your son yesterday - albeit he seemed to not be ready yet for seeing anybody.

    Sometimes Autistic burnout can be "textbook" like the guidance from experts.  Other times, it can escalate or be fuelled from a potentially less obvious non-Autism trait trigger - but then an Autistic response or capacity to cope with the impact comes into play e.g.:

    - maybe, an unhappy anniversary of another life event or disappointment,

    - some University environments can wax and wane in the demands and impacts (as a Student year two can bring unwelcome realisation of the streams of performance and achievement among peer groups, as someone working at a University the ebb and flow of funding, personality clashes, changes of coworkers or internal politics etc.), and

    - sometimes, what starts as a minor concern about a non-Autism medical matter then rapidly snowballs into "everything is too difficult" when, (on reaching out to), an appropriate clinical setting doesn't realise how stressed / anxious the Autistic adult is about their medical worry bead and responds in a manner which the Autistic Adult interprets as dismissive.

    I hope your son may surface a bit more, before too long, and finds it possible to be more comfortable about being communicative with loved ones, his GP or therapist and the University.

    It is not easy to know what to suggest you can try to do differently - in such a strongly experienced and personal matter.  Somehow, without your son feeling attention is intrusive: you obviously ard keen that he knows he is important, loved, thought about, considered, heard, and that the lines of communication are always available - even if he might feel a bit embarrassed about some of the recent events.

    In the meantime, I wish you access to sufficient "me time" to pursue those activities you might find personally de-stressing.  It is difficult for both parties.

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    thank you yes that all makes sense.   It's reassuring to hear these insights and responses from people who have been there and done that.   

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