I was diagnosed sorry assessed as having err displaying on the....undnder the bracket of ,wait is it umbrella now or still bracket oh no sorry that's right this ones still spectrum ist always been spectrum for asd has it not ....anyhow where was I, I err I'm aspergers syndrome as of three weeks before covid lockdown and one or two weeks post exiting a closed psychiatric unit after an emotional breakdown and various other mishaps like being a victim of misdiagnosis and mistreatment for nearly two decades , poisoned abused by staff used as acomodity and training tool , hidden and ignored untill I was so destroyed a dirty filthy alcoholic drug addict groomed and sexually exploited me , since recieving the correct diagnosis I've been passed about all stability has been removed I've been made to beg for my medication , denied any health care a physical GP surgery , refused blood tests health monitoring , striped of any dignaty, psychologically abused and manipulated , posined , tortured with sensory attacks , personal information stolen , it's been the most violating , degrading , demoralising, humileating , destructive experience of my life , it's compleatly destroyed me when I was at my weakest and most vulnrble , each and every person I look at on the street or anyone in the nhs , police , local authorities , shops anywhere at all I now see as a person who wants to hurt me , I'm very intelligent and a kind person with no intention or inclination to hurt anyone at all but there is absolutly no hope , I'm not depressed or dejected i'm despondent , I've been put on shut down over and over my life almost all my working life and any oppertinity to lead a positive productive life has been taken from me , I had hopes and aspirations and I now have nothing but emptiness and saadness there is nothing anyone could possible do or say to remedy what has been done to me , I've been bullied used and abused busy people who had the ability to help and heal , shame on all of them they've ruined my life and disrupted destabilised my home and family i'll never recover or get back the stolen opprtunities and my relationships with family that have been hurt will stay forever and for that I will not ever be able to forgive the bullies I hate and despise every last one of them , hate is a valid human emotion any they deserve to be hated and despised forever , shame on them all .