Hyper-Empathy

Alien0n3arth said:

I see stories in my head like movies.

I found that was a really good way of explaining things, thank you for sharing that description (that helps me to think about it a different way).

I struggle to show empathy in real life situations, but I can cry during a movie or reading some sad story. I see stories in my head like movies. So if someone tells me their story, I visualize it easily and I see it literally, but as I sink too deep into my inner vision, I fail to make any eye contact, I fail to show emotions that are expected of me by NTs and I seem to be cold or disinterested, when this is not the case. And yes I struggle to understand situations that I have never found myself in. 

Hi,

For me I have developed trained hyper-empathy towards others (through books and courses) and then I have natural hyper-empathy in limited situations. I struggle with empathy when it comes to more natural things. So when I experience hyper-empathy it is very hard to manage. I am very pragmatic in general, so I’m not often affected by emotions, I think more logically. So when I feel strong emotions through empathy, they feel too strong. 

Yeah, that's what I want to try to find out > what can hyper-empathy mean? How do people feel who would call themselves that...

Thank you for responding!

Thank you for sharing!

Yeah you are right, this has it's good sides. Thank you!

Thank you!

I really can relate to that. If I do what I want and behave like I want to, I have to feel the judgement of others. (I know it sounds crazy and most people don't believe me. But I can perceive what other people feel or want or need. So I am quite good at masking.)

So most of the times I do as expected. But then I ignore my own wants and needs. And this also doesn't feel good.

Most autistic people I met lacked empathy but I dunno. I mean it's easy to say 'I have hyper empathy' but showing it is also required for that to be true! I knew an autistic girl I quite liked for a while but later found out she was mentally incapable of talking to people or being friendly. So that was kinda disappointing plus I felt like the few years I knew her just turned out to be a waste of time. Yeh plus autistic people I have met don't like sharing or being sympathetic because they probably don't know how to be sympathetic. Oh by the way. I am also autistic and I would say in the past that my responses and behaviour has been an example even to myself that autistic people definitely have issues with showing empathy. I am not saying autistic people don't have empathy. That is clearly not the case! Maybe you are also right that autistic people could have some kind of hyper empathy' but they certainly aren't capable of showing this hyper empathy' at least the ones I have spoken too with is in the hundreds of not thousands by this point.

I don’t know whether this is hyper-empathy or not but I can’t bear to see people or animals suffering. The suffering of animals and children is the worst thing - my stomach would feel as if it is being dragged out of me and this unpleasant swooping, shudder would occur in my chest. 

I avoid watching the news on TV - there is just too much suffering in the world, and children make up a high proportion of the victims. I keep up to date by reading the news and would watch selective news stories that would be unlikely to show suffering.

Like many autists, I score low on cognitive empathy, but if someone explicitly states that they are negatively affected by something and explains why, I can usually appreciate how it might feel for them.

This is something I experience and although it’s a nice way to be it does have its drawbacks. I too put others feelings before my own, I don’t always respond in the right way at the time but I do have strong feelings for others. With animals I see on the roads which have been hit by vehicles I get a real sinking feeling in my stomach and I say a word of how sorry I am. I can even feel empathy for people that have been hurtful to me, it’s a lot to take on and it can be very tiring to give all these things your attention. 
The positive side is that by being this way you can make a difference to others when they are in need. I have supported a friend whose parents unfortunately died in a RTC. I didn’t do much but I listened, messaged him regularly to let him know I was thinking of him and took him the odd gift to cheer him up. I struggle to stay in regular contact with people but I’m good at it when they have real needs. 

For hyper-empathy content in the below article, please navigate to the section with the sub-title "Affective Empathy":

https://the-art-of-autism.com/autistic-people-empathy-whats-the-real-story/

I constantly feel bad for living things like bugs, arachnids, insects, beetles and what have you where most people seem to just squish them I start to cry and get anxious just thinking about ending their little lives.

I also constantly put others before me even to the point of inhibiting my own life at times. I feel so exhausted from all this but I just can't seem to help it. I feel like there's something wrong with me. Like it isn't normal.