Hi
I'm 40 (female) and I've never ever felt like I fit in. I've always known I'm different but it's only recently I've started to question if it could be autism.
I read an article about how autism presents in females and I felt like i was reading a description of me -
* never fits in
* anxiety / depression (I've been on antidepressants for 20 ywars)
* struggle in social situations - i hate them and avoid. I overthink every interaction and try to plan conversations in my head. I feel awkward and analyse how I'm standing, how I'm walking and the eye contact I'm making. When I was younger I used to watch tv and try to see how the characters responded to certain situations and then imitate it. I'm a huge people pleaser and tell people what I think they want to hear
* I can cope with loud noises but I can't cope with lots of different noises at the same time
* I hate changes to my routine. I'd have happily stayed in 1 job for 40 years but had no choice
* if doing something new (for example taking my child to a new baby group) I have to research it then let it sit in my head fir a while before committing to going. When I buy new clothes they sit in my wardrobe for a few weeks before they become mine and I can wear them.
* I love spotting patterns like words in number plates or symmetry
I started reading the umbrella picker and a lot of the things she described totally aren't me -
* I can lie and do lie to avoid social situations
* I'm not massively organised or neat
* my memory isn't great.
I genuinely don't know what to do. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
I did an ag50 test (I think that was what it was called) and scored 33.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
