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Friendships

King94

Does anyone have any advice on making or keeping friends? I’ve lost touch with all my old friends now because I get to scared to meet them. I worry that I won’t know what to say and I don’t really understand how people can just start and have conversations. I only have 2 people who I ever see or talk to, my fiancé and my mum. It really hit home when we were planning our wedding guests and I had zero friends to invite. I read online about going to new places to meet people but even if I could get over the anxiety of doing that I don’t get how to can just go to a shop or somewhere and start talking to someone. I try to pretend that it doesn’t bother me but I do get really lonely sometimes. And I always get jealous when I’m watching tv and it’s about a group of friends because I just think I’ll never have that. 

Parents

  • I find it difficult to move people from the category of being an acquaintance to being a friend. 

    I can collect a small number of acquaintances - but later on in the relationship I realise they have not become "a friend" (usually, when I have met them for coffee or lunch several times - and the person is yet again talking about various things they have done with one / some of their friends since I last met up with them - and my mind starts reflecting upon "you never ask me to do things like that / visit places with you like that / go on holiday with you like that / meet the other people you call your friends").

    Morgan Foley explains well some potential barriers for some Autistic people in knowing how to convert an acquaintance into a friend (more as symptoms than solutions).

    (1:42 minutes) 

    Morgan Foley - Autism and not understanding the steps of friendship

    When Morgan says ""I can be a really good acquaintance" - I think an important understanding was revealed for me: that is what I tend to become: "a good acquaintance".  I can list a small number of "acquaintances" - but really not any "friends".

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  • I find it difficult to move people from the category of being an acquaintance to being a friend. 

    I can collect a small number of acquaintances - but later on in the relationship I realise they have not become "a friend" (usually, when I have met them for coffee or lunch several times - and the person is yet again talking about various things they have done with one / some of their friends since I last met up with them - and my mind starts reflecting upon "you never ask me to do things like that / visit places with you like that / go on holiday with you like that / meet the other people you call your friends").

    Morgan Foley explains well some potential barriers for some Autistic people in knowing how to convert an acquaintance into a friend (more as symptoms than solutions).

    (1:42 minutes) 

    Morgan Foley - Autism and not understanding the steps of friendship

    When Morgan says ""I can be a really good acquaintance" - I think an important understanding was revealed for me: that is what I tend to become: "a good acquaintance".  I can list a small number of "acquaintances" - but really not any "friends".

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