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Dealing with plan changes

Wib

Distress caused by changes to plans is probably the worst part of being autistic for me.

 My partner was due to get to my place around half 11 today but he messaged me this morning saying it would be around half 1 as he woke up late and didn’t want to be in a rush.

Obviously this isn’t a big change but it’s caused me to feel irritated all morning. This irritation caused by plan changed is comparable to like if you had an itchy rash or a small headache. Like it’s not a ruin your day type of thing but it’s enough to make you feel a bit frustrated and distracted from your other tasks. 

I have communicated to my partner before about how sticking to plans and schedules is very important to me but it’s something he struggles to accommodate. I’m going to communicate it again when I see him.

However, I would like some strategies to help with this and to reduce my frustration when plan changes happen. This is because I feel like plan changes are inevitable and I don’t want to come across as unreasonable or for my irritation to ruin the plan when it does go ahead. 

Does anyone have any tips or advice for this ? At the moment I just try and distract myself but it’s hard for me as the fustration and anxiety caused by the plan change makes it hard to concentrate on other activities

Parents

  • 2 hours later than planned? That's a huge change in my view. If someone did that to me I'd be so stressed and put out that I wouldn't enjoy seeing them. 

    Although sometimes you can't prevent something changing, in my opinion being late for no reason (when someone could have used an alarm to help them get ready in time) is just rudeness. You are not being unreasonable expecting him to be somewhere at the time you both planned.

    I'm lucky in that I have a partner who is as punctual as I am, I could not deal with the behaviour you've described. I hope you will be able to make him understand this.

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  • 2 hours later than planned? That's a huge change in my view. If someone did that to me I'd be so stressed and put out that I wouldn't enjoy seeing them. 

    Although sometimes you can't prevent something changing, in my opinion being late for no reason (when someone could have used an alarm to help them get ready in time) is just rudeness. You are not being unreasonable expecting him to be somewhere at the time you both planned.

    I'm lucky in that I have a partner who is as punctual as I am, I could not deal with the behaviour you've described. I hope you will be able to make him understand this.

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