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Lost in life

apandav22

Hi,

Im new here so first post.

I’m feeling in a very low and lost place right now. I disengaged a lot from life last year due to overwhelm and I think autistic burnout. I used to go to different groups during the week (I don’t work)- they weren’t autism specific though. 

I'm still getting frequently overwhelmed, wanting to lie down to regulate - struggle do basic tasks. Concentration bad so most of time I sit doing nothing.

I don't want to live this quality of life but its hard to get out of it. On one hand im too overwhelmed for things yet I dont have mental energy to mask to go out without fear of judgement. 

I also feel lonely. Friendships are hard, so dont even know how to fix it.

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling.

    In respect of burnout, there's some great advice here from a neurodivergent author, who's also a clinician and autism advocate. Whilst I suspect these might form the basis for her new book that's due out next month (April), this online advice - and the optional downloads that are available to buy - might be helpful in the meantime:

    Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

    I'm also a big fan of this book of hers, which is the first one that I bought following my diagnosis. The content for each idea is fairly brief, but I found that helpful (vs feeling overwhelmed by an overly long and wordy book) and it introduced me to various strategies that I've found to be effective:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    You might also find the strategies suggested in this NAS resource helpful:

    NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

  • in reply to Cloud44

    Yeah that’s good, I feel the same with CBT to be honest- thanks for the info 

  • in reply to apandav22
    apandav22 said:
    The abundance of autism friendly counsellors can be hard to find

    If you up the stakes a bit and go for a psychotherapist (more qualified than a counsellor typically) then there are loads to choose from, especially if you go for virtual sessions.

    I would start with: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/england?category=autism

    Add the issues you want to cover in the ALL FILTERS button and enter your postcode if you want a face to face type session. They typically list prices as well so you know what to expect.

  • in reply to apandav22

    Wrote a reply but it's disappeared, other people on here have reported this happening. Anyway the gist of it was what helped me during a period of burnout was joining a running club and volunteering in a charity shop to make friends and find a purpose to life. I have found things like CBT to be more harm than good to me, personally, it felt it pinned the blame on me, like when I was being bullied at work I was expected to find ways to live with it. If you're not looking for NHS, either neurodivergent counsellors (they are out there and offer online meetings if you can't find any in your area) or autism mentors are pretty good, they help you learn more about autism, how if affects you and how you can work with it to find a fulfilling life.

  • in reply to Cloud44

    Thank you, yes I need to figure all that out. There’s stuff I used to enjoy but like I’ve been struggling to focus eg. I used to do a lot of creative stuff, but I sit down don’t know what to do with it and try something and give up as it gets too much. Concentration is awful these days, can hardly watch tv I rewind it multiple times after I realised I’ve not taken in anything, like sit there 10 times stuck on same bit until I decide it’s not worth it. So it’s really hard to know what will I enjoy these days. 

    yeah I really want to try unmask and not worry about what other think. 

    thanks bit complicated with nhs as I said in another reply, so looking for non-NHS. The abundance of autism friendly counsellors can be hard to find, especially when you’re stuck with a second diagnosis on top of autism( which I don’t believe I have but the autism side makes so much sense)- it’s like that clouds professionals judgements. I so wish things were more autism friendly 

  • Sorry you're feeling this way. I'd suggest thinking of the things you truly enjoy and do them. If you like long countryside walks, do it. If you like to write, draw or paint, do it. Concentrate on the things that mean something to you, try being in the moment with them, even if it's indulging in a box set, anything you find calming. If you are burnt out, having no calendar commitments helps, just taking the day as it comes, doing what your body/brain wants and not trying to mask or please anyone. Once you're feeling less burnt out, you may naturally find some likeminded people, or have more energy to go to new places/try new things. Maybe a GP appointment will help, although please make sure they're aware you're  autistic as autism specific therapy, or therapists trained in autism may be of more use to you. Wishing you all best.

  • Hi apandav22 welcome to the forums, some good advice I think from O & U below. Hope things pick up for you.