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Late diagnosed female with autism (39) shutting down

Jax

Hi,

I was diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago. I was angry - I grieved for the life I could have had , how things could have been different.

But now I am going through something else. I can barely form sentences, the cognitive effort of speaking to anyone is so great that a ten minute conversation makes me feel exhausted , everything is too loud , my body hurts all the time and I am struggling to see the point in anything.

I had a week off work and got nothing done I was intending to. I just stayed in bed and occasionally played animal crossing. Now I am back at work and yesterday I had to stop at 1:30 because I physically couldn't stay awake any longer. Back at my desk today (work from home) but everything is just a lot.

In the past when this has happened when I had other diagnoses I was considered to be in a depressive state. Now I don't even know if that is what this is anymore. I feel like i've lost the language to describe what's happening.

I don't really know what I am saying - has anyone experienced similar?

Parents

  • Hi Jax, welcome to the forums.

    Sorry to read your post and can say I can fully understand where you are at. I was going through something similar a few weeks ago now, where I discovered that it was highly likely that I was autistic. The whole premise blew my mind and went through a lot of things you are talking about, such as how things could have been different if I made the discovery sooner and despite my best efforts to try overcome my issues it was never going to work out in the long run. I've regressed a lot and where simple conversations with people who I am not so close to is very hard and draining. I've been off work for a few weeks but need to make a decision soon about what to do next. I guess there is no chance of getting some time off work to rest up? 

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  • Hi Jax, welcome to the forums.

    Sorry to read your post and can say I can fully understand where you are at. I was going through something similar a few weeks ago now, where I discovered that it was highly likely that I was autistic. The whole premise blew my mind and went through a lot of things you are talking about, such as how things could have been different if I made the discovery sooner and despite my best efforts to try overcome my issues it was never going to work out in the long run. I've regressed a lot and where simple conversations with people who I am not so close to is very hard and draining. I've been off work for a few weeks but need to make a decision soon about what to do next. I guess there is no chance of getting some time off work to rest up? 

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