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Late diagnosed female with autism (39) shutting down

Jax

Hi,

I was diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago. I was angry - I grieved for the life I could have had , how things could have been different.

But now I am going through something else. I can barely form sentences, the cognitive effort of speaking to anyone is so great that a ten minute conversation makes me feel exhausted , everything is too loud , my body hurts all the time and I am struggling to see the point in anything.

I had a week off work and got nothing done I was intending to. I just stayed in bed and occasionally played animal crossing. Now I am back at work and yesterday I had to stop at 1:30 because I physically couldn't stay awake any longer. Back at my desk today (work from home) but everything is just a lot.

In the past when this has happened when I had other diagnoses I was considered to be in a depressive state. Now I don't even know if that is what this is anymore. I feel like i've lost the language to describe what's happening.

I don't really know what I am saying - has anyone experienced similar?

Parents

  • Welcome to the 'Latelings' club.

    I was diagnosed around 18 months ago and went through everything you describe. Take time off to allow everything to process. There is no point pushing through as that rarely ends well with a more severe and long lasting burnout on the horizon.

    Think long and hard about disclosing to your employer. I naively though I could ask for help and be supported only for my manager taking it as an opportunity to move out of my career and bee redeployed.

    Please note that is my personal lived experience is offered as example to consider. I wish you all the best.

Reply

  • Welcome to the 'Latelings' club.

    I was diagnosed around 18 months ago and went through everything you describe. Take time off to allow everything to process. There is no point pushing through as that rarely ends well with a more severe and long lasting burnout on the horizon.

    Think long and hard about disclosing to your employer. I naively though I could ask for help and be supported only for my manager taking it as an opportunity to move out of my career and bee redeployed.

    Please note that is my personal lived experience is offered as example to consider. I wish you all the best.

Children
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