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Late diagnosed female with autism (39) shutting down

Jax

Hi,

I was diagnosed with autism a few weeks ago. I was angry - I grieved for the life I could have had , how things could have been different.

But now I am going through something else. I can barely form sentences, the cognitive effort of speaking to anyone is so great that a ten minute conversation makes me feel exhausted , everything is too loud , my body hurts all the time and I am struggling to see the point in anything.

I had a week off work and got nothing done I was intending to. I just stayed in bed and occasionally played animal crossing. Now I am back at work and yesterday I had to stop at 1:30 because I physically couldn't stay awake any longer. Back at my desk today (work from home) but everything is just a lot.

In the past when this has happened when I had other diagnoses I was considered to be in a depressive state. Now I don't even know if that is what this is anymore. I feel like i've lost the language to describe what's happening.

I don't really know what I am saying - has anyone experienced similar?

Parents

  • Hi Jax - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    During the period following a diagnosis, it can be common for us  to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides feeling relief about getting our diagnosis, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

    You might find these resources helpful - and, given the extent of your current struggles, might perhaps also consider contacting your GP for support:

    NAS - Autistic burnout and fatigue - a guide for autistic adults

    NAS - Depression

    The NAS also has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful. These, in particular, might be most helpful right now:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    In terms of what else to do next, my advice at this point (ie soon after your diagnosis) would be to try and give yourself plenty of time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down. 

    For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of ready-made solutions for my various difficulties. 

    Therapy is often recommended after a diagnosis as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. You might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Reply

  • Hi Jax - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community!

    During the period following a diagnosis, it can be common for us  to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides feeling relief about getting our diagnosis, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

    You might find these resources helpful - and, given the extent of your current struggles, might perhaps also consider contacting your GP for support:

    NAS - Autistic burnout and fatigue - a guide for autistic adults

    NAS - Depression

    The NAS also has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful. These, in particular, might be most helpful right now:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    In terms of what else to do next, my advice at this point (ie soon after your diagnosis) would be to try and give yourself plenty of time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down. 

    For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of ready-made solutions for my various difficulties. 

    Therapy is often recommended after a diagnosis as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. You might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Children
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