• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 570 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Rudeness?

Samuel50

Interested in any thoughts on this one.

So I'm on holiday this week. Enjoying lunch outside with my partner.

A singer starts up not far away, not great and I can't shut him out.

So he's distracting, but I figure he's a right to be there I suppose.

He comes over after a particularly poor (imho) performance and asks for tips.

I say "no, thank-you, I didn't enjoy it"

He replies huffily "thanks for your opinion, no-one cares"

So my partner says the guy will think I'm rude

I suppose I was when I think about it

What was going through my head was "you've annoyed me and now you want a tip so I want to express my annoyance politely so I'll add a thank-you"

No idea how much of what I do is autistic or just bad manners sometimes. I really wasn't trying to spoil anyone's day.

Also, why am I still thinking about it 6 hours later?

Parents

  • I can understand your response and situations like that would cause me to think about it long after the event, although I know the thoughts mightn’t be productive. I rarely have cash with me so it is likely I would have said “No, I’m sorry” and possibly added "I haven’t cash”. These days charity collectors and some buskers carry those portable card payment machines, so the “no cash” mightn’t be a useful answer. In that situation, I might say “I’m sorry, I can’t at the moment”. 

    Your thoughts about the singer appear perfectly valid and to me, your response was direct and honest. I don’t know If it was necessarily autistic and I’m not the best person to make a judgement on this, but I have learned that not everyone always wants your opinion in a situation like that. Probably I wouldn’t have given my thoughts on not enjoying the music, but if my mood is low I might. I’ve often been told I’m too direct. It’s a difficult one, because you gave constructive criticism, and maybe that is what the singer needed to hear. You never know, the singer might have been thinking for hours about what he said to you, and wondering if he was wrong to ask for tips. 

Reply

  • I can understand your response and situations like that would cause me to think about it long after the event, although I know the thoughts mightn’t be productive. I rarely have cash with me so it is likely I would have said “No, I’m sorry” and possibly added "I haven’t cash”. These days charity collectors and some buskers carry those portable card payment machines, so the “no cash” mightn’t be a useful answer. In that situation, I might say “I’m sorry, I can’t at the moment”. 

    Your thoughts about the singer appear perfectly valid and to me, your response was direct and honest. I don’t know If it was necessarily autistic and I’m not the best person to make a judgement on this, but I have learned that not everyone always wants your opinion in a situation like that. Probably I wouldn’t have given my thoughts on not enjoying the music, but if my mood is low I might. I’ve often been told I’m too direct. It’s a difficult one, because you gave constructive criticism, and maybe that is what the singer needed to hear. You never know, the singer might have been thinking for hours about what he said to you, and wondering if he was wrong to ask for tips. 

Children
No Data