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Waking up with dread when you have to go out

Rayann

Do you wake up feeling intense dread when you know you have to do something on that day, like when you know you have to go out for something?

I’ve had this since I was at secondary school, every day I felt this intense dread mixed with anxiety because I knew I would be out the whole day with little time by myself with no chance of being able to rest until I was home again. I get it when I have to go shopping and when I go to work. It’s especially bad with working, probably because of the length of time I’m out and the multiple sensory overload triggers that are present during the day.

Today I am working again. 8:00-3:30… Just the thought of going is making me feel sick to my stomach and there is always this dread because I know with painful experience that by lunch I’ll be suffering with this deep fatigue as that always happens to me. By home time I’m half dead. I was riding my motorbike to and from work but the exhaustion has been so bad I feel very sleepy and flu like and thought it safer to walk than ride, just in case. If it’s quiet enough I will catch the bus but normally at that time the buses are near to full with people, so I can’t use them, not if I don’t want a meltdown.

My ASD affects me in many different ways and when it comes to going out it affects me in multiple ways with the added anxiety and some physical symptoms on top of that. It’s worse if I know I’m out for the entire day. Work itself is a huge problem but so is going out anyway so I feel lost right now. I see the problem, I acknowledge it is present and I have no way of solving it or knowing if it is even solvable.

I’m just wondering if there’s anyone here who is affected this way and if you are, what do you do that helps you to cope with it? Or is there anything that helps alleviate the symptoms associated with this?

  • Hi, this is something I’m struggling with right now! I work 9-5 but only two of those is in the office (there is only a couple of others in with me who I don’t need to talk to) and the rest I work from home. This week I need to go into the office every day and there is so many others in which I’m really not used to and I find it quite overstimulating. Something I find helps me is planning things to look forward to after hard days (like having my favourite food to eat after work or watching a favourite movie when I get home). Another thing that helps me is getting lots of sleep but that’s hard when I need to get up really early to get to work 

  • in reply to Iain

    I try to use mindfulness too. For me it's more about trying to focus on, and enjoy, NOW and not let my thoughts run off on what will happen later.

    I'm signed off work at the moment so the next "must do" thing is in 3 days time. I have notes on what I need to do. I have set an alarm so I don't forget it. Every time I notice my thoughts are straying off towards "the thing" I remind myself I don't need to think about it yet. I then try to focus on something in my immediate vicinity and do some breathing exercises.

    I do feel a bit silly doing it, far too many hippie vibes for me, but it seems to work so I'm stuck with feeling foolish. 

    Doesn't work when I'm manic though. 

  • It depends on what I have to do, I mostly worked for myself, so I didn't dread getting up, that dread was why I bunked off most of secondary school and lost so many jobs when I was younger. Apart from working for myself, I don't think I ever managed to cope with it, I have PTSD as well as ASC and being made to be somewhere I didn't want to be made my flight/fight response overwhelming.

  • Rayann said:
    what do you do that helps you to cope with it?

    I use mindfulness.

    It means I effectively look at the situation ahead with a balanced view - accept the negatives but then also the positives and neutrals then look at the chances of the negatives actually happening.

    Why not throw in the risk of an earthquake, Russian invasion etc - realising how much our fears are irrational and can be largely ignored statistically helps me file them in the "not worth my energy to worry about) category.

    Find the positive and focus on them. Savour the motorbike ride, the feeling of freedom for example. So what if it rains - I can still suck every ounce of positivity from the experience.

    If something bad happens, have a contingency plan for it. Flat tyre - get an RAC membership. Get a seppeding ticket  - make a note to ride within the speed limit etc.

    Just deal with the smaller bad things like a task and don't let them weigh on you - you've dealt with them before and they really aren't that big a deal.

    That is my approach and it lets me function more or less normally unless I am ill then it gets harder to do it.

  • I used to call it the Sunday syndrome. The dread of another week at school. Unfortunately, this carried on into my working life and is exhausting. I have been working from home for over a year now and I still get the dread !!

    The constant wondering about the 'ifs' and then 'what' is totally exhausting. Nearly 50 years of that takes its toll.

  • I think that after taking early retirement I have felt more relaxed than I ever have since starting school at four and a half years old. I now have very few forced interactions with people I do not wish to interact with. I can now travel and shop at times when things are not busy, it's such a huge relief.

  • When I was employed many years ago I also found it tough, it wasn’t the fact I was going to work it was the other humans that filled me with dread. They were the reason I used to feel overwhelmed, I used to hide in the toilets for quite a bit of my day which was possible. I am self employed now and have been for 20 years ish, I still get anxious when I’m working with or for certain people but I feel I have more of a choice. I can always go home or finish early if it’s too much. 
    Not sure what you do for work but is it possible to get some adjustments in place so at least you can feel more settled during your day? 
    Do your employers know about your diagnosis? 

    Like I say the only thing that helped me was working for myself but back then I didn’t know about my neurodivergence. 

    Hope you find some help on this as I think it’s great you can go out to work but a shame it takes its toll 

    Good luck