Do you wake up feeling intense dread when you know you have to do something on that day, like when you know you have to go out for something?
I’ve had this since I was at secondary school, every day I felt this intense dread mixed with anxiety because I knew I would be out the whole day with little time by myself with no chance of being able to rest until I was home again. I get it when I have to go shopping and when I go to work. It’s especially bad with working, probably because of the length of time I’m out and the multiple sensory overload triggers that are present during the day.
Today I am working again. 8:00-3:30… Just the thought of going is making me feel sick to my stomach and there is always this dread because I know with painful experience that by lunch I’ll be suffering with this deep fatigue as that always happens to me. By home time I’m half dead. I was riding my motorbike to and from work but the exhaustion has been so bad I feel very sleepy and flu like and thought it safer to walk than ride, just in case. If it’s quiet enough I will catch the bus but normally at that time the buses are near to full with people, so I can’t use them, not if I don’t want a meltdown.
My ASD affects me in many different ways and when it comes to going out it affects me in multiple ways with the added anxiety and some physical symptoms on top of that. It’s worse if I know I’m out for the entire day. Work itself is a huge problem but so is going out anyway so I feel lost right now. I see the problem, I acknowledge it is present and I have no way of solving it or knowing if it is even solvable.
I’m just wondering if there’s anyone here who is affected this way and if you are, what do you do that helps you to cope with it? Or is there anything that helps alleviate the symptoms associated with this?