Help

70326 said:

My home life isn’t great at the minute mostly self inflicted. My relationship with my daughter hasn’t been great for a while or my wife.

On this point, I recommend this book. It focuses on helping autistic + neurotypical couples to work on their relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication, complete with exercises that you can both complete and discuss, if you wish:

Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

In my opinion, much of the advice in the book (with some obvious exceptions) might also be helpful for improving your relationship with your daughter. 

Note: the book was written when Asperger's syndrome was still an official diagnostic term, whereas this now simply falls under Autism Spectrum Disorder / Condition (ie autism). 

Caveat: when moving from discussion of one issue / scenario to the next, the author often switches which of the partners is neurodivergent (him / her), which can make it a little confusing until you've worked out who's who each time. But that inconvenience felt well worth the effort to me.

You and your wife might also find this NAS resource helpful:

NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

And, finally, might you might - when you're ready - like to consider couples counselling, ideally with a counsellor who is experienced in dealing with neurodivergent people. You could look for providers in the NAS directory, and/or the BACP or Psychology Today websites:

NAS - Autism Services Directory

70326 said:

My home life isn’t great at the minute mostly self inflicted. My relationship with my daughter hasn’t been great for a while or my wife.

On this point, I recommend this book. It focuses on helping autistic + neurotypical couples to work on their relationships through improved mutual understanding and communication, complete with exercises that you can both complete and discuss, if you wish:

Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner

In my opinion, much of the advice in the book (with some obvious exceptions) might also be helpful for improving your relationship with your daughter. 

Note: the book was written when Asperger's syndrome was still an official diagnostic term, whereas this now simply falls under Autism Spectrum Disorder / Condition (ie autism). 

Caveat: when moving from discussion of one issue / scenario to the next, the author often switches which of the partners is neurodivergent (him / her), which can make it a little confusing until you've worked out who's who each time. But that inconvenience felt well worth the effort to me.

You and your wife might also find this NAS resource helpful:

NAS - Family relationships - a guide for partners of autistic people

And, finally, might you might - when you're ready - like to consider couples counselling, ideally with a counsellor who is experienced in dealing with neurodivergent people. You could look for providers in the NAS directory, and/or the BACP or Psychology Today websites:

NAS - Autism Services Directory