First conscious burnout

Hello, I’m not doing too good, I don’t know what’s going on with me, struggling to understand what I see before me sometimes, like it’s a whole new bright world but I’m unable to feel apart of it. I’m trying to stick to my routine as much as possible even if that isn’t easy, it’s like I’m scrambling to fit all the puzzle pieces back together before I can feel myself again and now I’m frightened I won’t forget what this hell feels like and I’ll be like this forever. I’ve had way too much on my plate and I’ve ignored the warning signs because I didn’t know what they were but they were there and they came from my own mouth multiple times towards others explaining that I cannot continue to help them any longer or do others roles for them because they are too involved in themselves. I’ve got myself, my partner and our 4 kids who are all on the spectrum in some way, they are all highly functioning with their own unique behaviours and some also have ADHD which means there’s a constant pack of wild animals running through the house which guess what is also far too over stimulating because they do not listen. I feel very alone because no one understands me and I barely know who I am now. I’m just having to do my best and that’s all I can do till the day I feel better.

Parents
  • 4 kids? Wow, you're doing well then.

    Can you get someone to babysit occasionally and go somewhere quiet with your partner? Or ask your partner if it's ok for you to go out and spend some time in a quiet space, such as a park or library?

  • I could try but the family hasn’t really bothered in terms of actually watching them, they are all old enough to have been looked after at least a few times but they prefer the easy ones, the ones who aren’t quite so much hard work of course. It’s a lonely life sometimes because when you have a child with severe autism who can only do 1 hour a day at school and you’ve had to sit outside in all weathers because you can’t go anywhere in that time. The moral and self righteousness in me will fight until I’m burnt out like now with a constant headache. The MELTDOWN I had was like someone ripped my face off and the emotions have been coming out uncontrollably, it’s quite scary but also energising in some twisted way.

Reply
  • I could try but the family hasn’t really bothered in terms of actually watching them, they are all old enough to have been looked after at least a few times but they prefer the easy ones, the ones who aren’t quite so much hard work of course. It’s a lonely life sometimes because when you have a child with severe autism who can only do 1 hour a day at school and you’ve had to sit outside in all weathers because you can’t go anywhere in that time. The moral and self righteousness in me will fight until I’m burnt out like now with a constant headache. The MELTDOWN I had was like someone ripped my face off and the emotions have been coming out uncontrollably, it’s quite scary but also energising in some twisted way.

Children
No Data