Does anyone struggle in their workplace. I’m currently going through borderline discrimination based on the fact I’m autistic, my colleagues are isolating me because they find me too “difficult” to work with and my boss is trying to force me into a neurotypical box.
I don’t know how to handle it, it’s overwhelming me. Does anyone have any advise or any resources / materials that might explain the situation to all my colleagues and bosses who are struggling because I’m different?
The fact that I am constantly trying to explain how I am different to them is causing me the overwhelming.
It is important that you understand this - you are creating this pressure in trying to fix an underlying problem.
You have the control to take that pressure off yourself and change the approach, if you are willing. You have seen that your colleagues are unwilling to learn or engage which is their right so long as it is not discriminating against you, so why push to try to force them into doing something they don't seem to want to do.
Others have said here that they found that disclosing their autism has led to them being squeezed out of their jobs (my experience too) as I think the neurotypicals do not know how to deal with us and seem almost afraid to have us around, acting weird to their perceptions.
There are enough ways for management to make life uncomfortable enough to make you want to leave without breaching the standards that coud lead to a discrimination case so it is worth removing as many stressers as you can to make work survivable,
Work does tend to be a very tribal environment so when you consider that diagnosed autistic adults make up about 1% of the population (3% in children) but only about 20% of us are actually in work then that makes us about 1 in 500 of the workforce - we are a very small minority which is probably why there is little known about us and our needs.
Realistically to survive you are the one who needs to cope for the most part. Definitely ask for Reasonable Adjustments if these help but my advice is to engage with a therapist who is skilled in treating autists and let them help you cope better with the issues that are causing anxiety / fear / anger etc.
Should we have to do this - no, but society isn't ready for us and making a stand will almost certainly go badly (extra anxiety and resentment from colleagues) based on what I have seen and experienced, hence this line of adopting a defensive approach.
You are the only one you can trust so that is where I would focus my efforts.
Im am sorry to hear about your situation. It just does not feel right when you are not supported in your workplace. I have been in a constant struggle for over two years now. My manager has effectively ended my career of over 30 years.
I have felt invalidated, minimised and even harassed. It is now supposedly at director level for a decision. I want to scream! My union is trying to keep in a job. I get that but I am broken now.
On what you describe it could possibly be harassment and or discrimination arising from disability under the equality act. Know your rights. Stand your ground, get everything in writing and protect your health.
I wish you all the best.
Hi and welcome to the community.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with work.
The NAS has some employment resources that you might find helpful, including:
NAS - What can I do if I’m having trouble at work?
The article includes advice about:
Unfortunately, when the NAS recently revamped its employment-related resources, it seems to have replaced what was previously a helpful article for employers with a range of brochure-type materials for its training and consultancy services:
This PDF-based guide from Derbyshire Autism Partnership Board is perhaps a useful alternative, which you could download and send to your employer and colleagues:
A Guide for Employers: Understanding and Supporting People with Autistic Spectrum Conditions
The fact that I am constantly trying to explain how I am different to them is causing me the overwhelming. The company are aware of my autism and I already have some reasonable adjustments in place but my team and bosses and still excluding me and “pushing me out” because they are struggling to handle someone who thinks and does stuff that is different from “normal”
Can you tell us what specifically is triggering the overwhelm for you?
If you can work it out then there is a chance you can use the HR option of "reasonable adjustments" to get a change made here.
You will need to disclose to the company that you are autistic - showing them a diagnosis is a good way to do this although I don't think it is mandatory.
They are also only obliged to make these adjustments if they are considered reasonable and are to ensure you are not legally discriminated against becase of your autism.
From what other people have said here the responses are very mixed and the understanding of autism is very sparse.
I personally found trying to educate my boss and colleagues about autism was a fast track way to an early end to my contract - they didn't want anybody "wrong in the head" working with them in spite of the fact I had been their manager for 4 years previously before going freelance and not having any problems.
My advice would be to hope for the best while planning for the worst. If the overwhelming has already started then it is hard to stop if snowballing and if the company are not forthcoming in helping you then it isn't going to fix itself.
I would start looking for another job that is accepting of your autism so you at least have a plan B.
I had a difficult work situation. It wasn't met with much understanding and they were reluctant to make reasonable adjustments. Even when I had a meeting involving a professional to support me. I didn't have the fight in me to take it on and I didn't want to work somewhere unsupportive so I left. I work in a much more supportive place now. They are far more accepting of my differences and help me if there is a situation I find difficult.
