Autism diagnosis and the change it may have

Hi welcome. I’m a newbie here too. 18 and diagnosed with autism at 15, before that I was diagnosed with anxiety and the autism was missed amongst that I think. Oh well got there in the end.

I’m so sorry you were bullied. I was as well, secondary school was a real challenge. Bullies really don’t think about the long-term effects they’re going to end up causing you. I feel tho it makes you stronger in the end because you got through it, you were strong and courageous, you showed them being different was a good thing.

Anxiety and DP are a nightmare! It’s like being in a storm but at least you have comfort in knowing that the storm will pass and the sun will shine on you again. I try to distract myself when anxious, distractions help with my anxiety. Finding what works can make a big difference.

It sounds like you’ve developed coping mechanisms that work for you tho, like maintaining a routine, which is really important for mental well-being. I’m not so good at keeping my routines. Your desire for routine as a source of safety and stability is something many people can relate to, myself included, and it’s great that you’ve recognised what helps you feel more in control.

Seeking a diagnosis is a positive step for lots and it could provide you with a clearer understanding of your experiences and challenges, and maybe help to better cope with them. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with anxiety and depression, but connecting with professionals who can offer guidance tailored to your needs might be beneficial for you? Professionals can be a lottery as some are better than others but so far my experience has been positive with professional help. I was referred to a talking therapy and that’s been more helpful than I thought it would. That and distractions help a lot. Remember you aren’t alone with feeling like this, and it’s perfectly okay to seek support from both professionals and those who can relate to your experiences like a lot of the people here.

Peace and positivity to you.

Thank you for your thoughtful response, the bullying was by my friends from primary school, they made me feel worthless because I lacked what other people had like a dad or a house because I lived in a flat, even my clothes were the target of some. It happened in the first year of secondary school. It broke me into a new person who was unable to be happy anymore and I’ve been that way since. It could be trauma perhaps made worse by the lack of seriousness in which bullying was taken, the adults let me down, the scars allowed me to make that choice that school was pointless. Honestly the things people say can cut deep and stay with you for life.

It's heartbreaking to hear how the bullying from those you considered friends had such a profound impact on your self-worth and happiness. Unfortunately, you can’t know the long-lasting effects that words and actions can have, especially when they come from people you considered friends, you only find out later as the scars surface. The lack of support from adults can be crushing and feel like an added betrayal during such a vulnerable time in your life. None of the staff at my school were any help when I was bullied. It’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid, and that what you went through wasn’t in any way your fault. No one asks to be bullied. It's okay to not have fully healed from these experiences yet. Trauma of any kind is not an overnight fix. While the scars may linger, I hope you also find ways to reclaim your joy and sense of self-worth, perhaps through your hobbies or talking to people here. Hang in there. You’re doing so well, happiness will return to you, positive thoughts.

Thank for that, I will try to remember that if any of the therapists seems a bit fishy. I’ve had great experiences with therapists in the past. They have been very helpful at easing my mind. 

My 2p worth here is based off experiences prior to discovering I am autistic.

Not all counsellors/therapists are universal. Finding the correct therapist for you can have a massive difference. And what I didn't know at the time is that under the NHS you can actually reject a therapist if there is a personality difference that would negatively impact the treatment (at least there is at ability in my NHS Trust region).

Sadly, my thought is that the NHS is trying to make a globalised system rather than a patient-centred one. 

Still, my honest advice is that if the counsellor/therapist doesn't seem right in that first session go back to the service provider and say that this person won't work you'd like to see someone else. You might wait a little longer, but my experience was that it was HIGHLY worth it.

I’m 36, discovered a year ago. Yes, sadly many of us have negative experience with mental health professionals. I wish you luck! 

I mean for me this is the first time I’ve sought any autism related help or diagnosis, mostly due to my age I think I have to say. Being 37 and all that waiting to grow up or to become a functioning member of society just isn’t arriving for me. My special interests are nature, space, psychology, anything logical that’s fundamental to existence. I’m unable to think in a fantasy way like a lot of people with autism may thrive on, they may like cartoons and anime etc, nothing wrong with that of course but for me it would be a waste of my energy and time so I wouldn’t even try. Batman yes but that’s more of a “hurt man who wants to help people thing” I have going on which has lessened as I’ve aged sadly. Appreciate your efforts in typing to me!

For this reason I hate weekends. Hectic chaotic, stressful, routine disrupted, noise etc. I totally understand you not wanting to take holidays. Maybe it could help you, if you take holidays, to plan it the way you like. I love making dollhouses and clothes for dolls. If I had a holiday and could stay alone at home, I would be full in my own inner world, I would definitely not book any trip because I don’t like it. 

The issue with doctors treating us not seriously is that they often find themselves the smartest and yes, it’s the doctor who should give the diagnosis, but in mental health conditions it’s different than the physical. I heard that the diagnosis should be achieved by both - patient and doctor. I think that the heated debate about autism and social media short videos on TikTok instagram etc are also influential here in a negative way. Someone may think: yeah, another person wants to become a TikTok star! There are also people, who might have different conditions but are rigid about it being autism or adhd. I saw some post on instagram where someone wrote, that already five psychiatrists informed them, they have BPD but the person doesn’t accept it and is sure it’s ASD not BPD. Well, can be both, I’m not a professional to judge or assess anyone, but I think that these things make it harder to get help for those who don’t scream loud, sit quiet struggle and need help. In my case explaining doctor my struggles and showing him my pictures was also kind of reality check- I suspect being autistic, but maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s a different condition. I’m not diagnosed so far, so everything is possible. You are really struggling I’m sorry I don’t know who else you can contact if your GP is not helpful so here I can’t help, because I’m not living in UK, haven’t even been there. 

That’s really interesting and informative. Yes, every doctor will be different however I would expect there to be a sort of common approach to those who are unwell and have sought medical help. The doctor’s ignorance and or inflated ego shouldn’t affect any care I may receive. I’ve had the discussion with work today about my mental health right now, they’ve been good about it and said if I need time off I can but my routine then wouldn’t be right? If I booked holiday it is my choice and I am determined to not fall apart right now although I really feel like I’m going to go catatonic at any moment. I’m recording all my calls with the surgery after yesterday, I’d be shocked if they even call me back because I complained.

It’s really bad that doctors don’t treat us seriously (often). Once I suggested to one “therapist” that I might be autistic and I told her about my problems. She said I have autistic traits but I’m married so I can’t be autistic and lack of friends is not a problem (really?). Now I decided to take a different approach. I went for therapy, I need it. And without mentioning what condition I might have/ suspect having, just explained the doctor what problems I have. Then I heard from the doctor that I’m most probably autistic. It might not always work, because some doctors are just ignorant, or chose wrong profession etc, but there is maybe a higher chance of being taken seriously. Unfortunately, doctors are not perfect, they are only humans too. They are the specialists there, so if a patient comes and suggests to the doctor what condition they may have (physical or mental) it may feel to the doctor like attacking their knowledge and ego. Shouldn’t be this way but unfortunately often is. My therapist does not have rights to diagnose ASD but he said he knows many autistic people and since first time he saw me, he strongly suspected he has to do with Autism not Tourette (my previous dx). Also another thing some people try to mask etc. I just went there and decided to be my authentic self and used pictures I draw for quite long time to help explain my experience. 

It’s really bad that doctors don’t treat us seriously (often). Once I suggested to one “therapist” that I might be autistic and I told her about my problems. She said I have autistic traits but I’m married so I can’t be autistic and lack of friends is not a problem (really?). Now I decided to take a different approach. I went for therapy, I need it. And without mentioning what condition I might have/ suspect having, just explained the doctor what problems I have. Then I heard from the doctor that I’m most probably autistic. It might not always work, because some doctors are just ignorant, or chose wrong profession etc, but there is maybe a higher chance of being taken seriously. Unfortunately, doctors are not perfect, they are only humans too. They are the specialists there, so if a patient comes and suggests to the doctor what condition they may have (physical or mental) it may feel to the doctor like attacking their knowledge and ego. Shouldn’t be this way but unfortunately often is. My therapist does not have rights to diagnose ASD but he said he knows many autistic people and since first time he saw me, he strongly suspected he has to do with Autism not Tourette (my previous dx). Also another thing some people try to mask etc. I just went there and decided to be my authentic self and used pictures I draw for quite long time to help explain my experience. 

Thank for that, I will try to remember that if any of the therapists seems a bit fishy. I’ve had great experiences with therapists in the past. They have been very helpful at easing my mind. 

My 2p worth here is based off experiences prior to discovering I am autistic.

Not all counsellors/therapists are universal. Finding the correct therapist for you can have a massive difference. And what I didn't know at the time is that under the NHS you can actually reject a therapist if there is a personality difference that would negatively impact the treatment (at least there is at ability in my NHS Trust region).

Sadly, my thought is that the NHS is trying to make a globalised system rather than a patient-centred one. 

Still, my honest advice is that if the counsellor/therapist doesn't seem right in that first session go back to the service provider and say that this person won't work you'd like to see someone else. You might wait a little longer, but my experience was that it was HIGHLY worth it.

I’m 36, discovered a year ago. Yes, sadly many of us have negative experience with mental health professionals. I wish you luck! 

I mean for me this is the first time I’ve sought any autism related help or diagnosis, mostly due to my age I think I have to say. Being 37 and all that waiting to grow up or to become a functioning member of society just isn’t arriving for me. My special interests are nature, space, psychology, anything logical that’s fundamental to existence. I’m unable to think in a fantasy way like a lot of people with autism may thrive on, they may like cartoons and anime etc, nothing wrong with that of course but for me it would be a waste of my energy and time so I wouldn’t even try. Batman yes but that’s more of a “hurt man who wants to help people thing” I have going on which has lessened as I’ve aged sadly. Appreciate your efforts in typing to me!

For this reason I hate weekends. Hectic chaotic, stressful, routine disrupted, noise etc. I totally understand you not wanting to take holidays. Maybe it could help you, if you take holidays, to plan it the way you like. I love making dollhouses and clothes for dolls. If I had a holiday and could stay alone at home, I would be full in my own inner world, I would definitely not book any trip because I don’t like it. 

The issue with doctors treating us not seriously is that they often find themselves the smartest and yes, it’s the doctor who should give the diagnosis, but in mental health conditions it’s different than the physical. I heard that the diagnosis should be achieved by both - patient and doctor. I think that the heated debate about autism and social media short videos on TikTok instagram etc are also influential here in a negative way. Someone may think: yeah, another person wants to become a TikTok star! There are also people, who might have different conditions but are rigid about it being autism or adhd. I saw some post on instagram where someone wrote, that already five psychiatrists informed them, they have BPD but the person doesn’t accept it and is sure it’s ASD not BPD. Well, can be both, I’m not a professional to judge or assess anyone, but I think that these things make it harder to get help for those who don’t scream loud, sit quiet struggle and need help. In my case explaining doctor my struggles and showing him my pictures was also kind of reality check- I suspect being autistic, but maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s a different condition. I’m not diagnosed so far, so everything is possible. You are really struggling I’m sorry I don’t know who else you can contact if your GP is not helpful so here I can’t help, because I’m not living in UK, haven’t even been there. 

That’s really interesting and informative. Yes, every doctor will be different however I would expect there to be a sort of common approach to those who are unwell and have sought medical help. The doctor’s ignorance and or inflated ego shouldn’t affect any care I may receive. I’ve had the discussion with work today about my mental health right now, they’ve been good about it and said if I need time off I can but my routine then wouldn’t be right? If I booked holiday it is my choice and I am determined to not fall apart right now although I really feel like I’m going to go catatonic at any moment. I’m recording all my calls with the surgery after yesterday, I’d be shocked if they even call me back because I complained.